A lov­able cosh-wield­ing rogue

Midweek Sport - - FRONT PAGE -

WATCH­ING Mrs Biggs ( right) was an emo­tional roller­coaster, as the lov­able Great Train Rob­ber and his fra­grant wife tried to live an hon­est life in Aus­tralia – but kept hav­ing to move on.

Gosh, how aw­ful for them.

Re­mind me, when will ITV1 be mak­ing a sen­ti­men­tal drama about Jack Mills, the in­no­cent train driver who was also try­ing to live an hon­est life un­til some lov­able blag­ger coshed him? as Maria felt a lump in her breast – and is about to feel an­other one in Marcus’ pants.

He is sup­posed to be gay but they will snog later this week af­ter he of­fers her a shoul­der to cry on (

I al­ways thought this “gay best friend” fad was a ploy for straight men to honk women’s boobs with­out get­ting a slap.

You just wait, any day now Gok Wan will be ex­posed as a red­blooded shag­ger with a girl in ev­ery port.

In other news, Mary and Hay­ley had words over which of them looks more like Hol­ly­wood icon Au­drey Hep­burn.

Ladies, ladies, al­low me to in­ter­vene. You are both wrong. Mary, you are more Au­drey Roberts

And Hay­ley, you are more Au­drey Side­burn.

WOR­RY­ING times on

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