Where there’s a Will, there’s a way to pay the bills…

Midweek Sport - - FRONT PAGE -

As the econ­omy re­mains sunk and stag­nant, the jobs mar­ket barely moves, and Nick Clegg con­tin­ues to draw breath, we’re in a bit of a funk.

But it could be much worse. You could be RE­ALLY suf­fer­ing – like one-time Pop Idol win­ner Will Young.

Ear­lier this year, when he found out he hadn’t got a job as a judge on that shite BBC rub­bish The Voice, poor Will de­scribes hang­ing up the phone and col­laps­ing to the floor, ut­terly racked with mis­ery.

The squil­lion­aire singer – who drives a Mercedes G-Class, cost­ing up to £115,000 – casts fur­ther light on his mis­er­able ex­is­tence, too.

“It doesn’t even help when you have loads of money,” says the poor lamb. “The thing is, I’ve got money.

“I’d buy houses and get noth­ing from it. Bought cars – got noth­ing from it. I’ve spent £5,000 in Sel­fridges – and noth­ing. I don’t even wear the stuff.

“All those things that I thought would THE Chan­cel­lor Gideon Os­borne changed his first name to Ge­orge be­cause he thought peo­ple would take the piss out of Gideon.

So let’s call the c*** Gideon.

Or more ac­cu­rately, “Gideon The C*** Who Says We’re All In This To­gether But For­gets To Men­tion His £3m In­her­i­tance”. IT’S get­ting a bit colder now. The heat­ing’s on, the gas bill’s go­ing up, and ever so slightly you’re start­ing to feel the pinch.

Our gen­er­ous Gov­ern­ment has an­nounced it’s go­ing to take away £10 bil­lion in ben­e­fits from the poor­est in so­ci­ety in a move which will ap­par­ently “help” them.

My name is Young. F***ing c**t!

bring me hap­pi­ness, don’t.”

So there you have it. Next time you’re wor­ry­ing about pay­ing the bills, or you can’t af­ford a nice present for your kids this Christ­mas, just think of how much worse Will Young has got it.

And then re­peat­edly punch a wall un­til your knuck­les break.

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