I’D LOVE TO BE DOWN­TON HAPPY!

Fol­low me on Twit­ter @lin­sey_­dawn Storms rage both sides of the At­lantic

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crazy sur­prises at the hope­fuls when they sing and see how pro­fes­sional they are.

I’d love to see Ry­lan try and belt out a num­ber while a thirty-stone streaker tries to put him off!

Al­though with Gary Bar­low slag­ging off Tulisa for hav­ing fag breath maybe they should start hav­ing the judges hav­ing a big fight live on air. HAPPY Hal­loween read­ers! I’m dress­ing up as a sexy witch for a party tonight and while I was plan­ning my out­fits I started think­ing about be­ing a real witch and what I would do if I had magic pow­ers.

I would turn my girl crush Rosie Hunt­ing­ton-White­ley ( into a les­bian for the day so that we could get it on to­gether! I FELT all su­pe­rior on Sun­day when the clocks went back in Eng­land be­cause I’m in Spain and it’s still light till late.

But then I re­mem­bered I have to come back and that soon put paid to that feel­ing.

I hate it when the clocks go back – even though it hap­pens ev­ery year and has done since I’ve been on this earth I still can’t get my head around it!

Bonk­ing

The only thing to do is get cosy on the sofa with a glass of wine, a roar­ing fire and my man.

Mind you that al­ways leads to some­thing else – there’s some­thing re­ally hot about bonk­ing in front of the fire while a storm rages out­side.

Talk­ing of storms I’ve only just caught up on Down­ton Abbey and was ab­so­lutely shocked when Lady Sy­bil died – and not just be­cause ac­tress Jes­sica Brown Find­lay ( is so pretty!

If you haven’t seen it you’re re­ally miss­ing out – it’s amaz­ing – like EastEn­ders but in olden times.

I love it so much I reckon I should be in it. I’d be a proper sexy posh bird – I know all about plums in my mouth af­ter all!

It’s re­ally in­ter­est­ing though about how all the aris­to­crats in the past had loads of maids and but­lers to make their life bet­ter. I would love to have a proper oldfashioned maid to look af­ter my ev­ery whim.

Can you imag­ine how good it would be to sit on your arse all day and ring a lit­tle bell when­ever you want a cup of tea or a sarnie.

And I’d make sure she had a re­ally sexy out­fit too – all stock­ings and short skirts!

Of course I would mind my own but­ler – al­though I’ve got no idea what they do when they butle! that mas­sive one in Amer­ica is men­tal!

It’s 1,000 miles wide – that’s more than all of Bri­tain from Lands End to John o’Groats.

I’ve been to New York and they’re a tough bunch so I’m sure they’ll bat­tle through but it looks ter­ri­fy­ing.

Mind you it’s still not as big as the Jimmy Sav­ile storm that’s en­gulfed the BBC.

Gary Glit­ter’s been ar­rested now and po­lice reckon there’s go­ing to be loads more.

I sim­ply can­not get my head round how this was al­lowed to go on for so long with­out any­one say­ing any­thing or do­ing any­thing.

If it had been me and I found out what Sav­ile was up to I’d have cas­trated the dirty bas­tard my­self.

But­lers

THE only good thing about it be­ing Novem­ber to­mor­row means it is not long un­til Christ­mas now.

Last week be­fore I flew to Spain I went to my lo­cal gar­den cen­tre and it was all done out with fairy lights and trees and dec­o­ra­tions.

It looked re­ally fes­tive and it started me get­ting ex­cited – it is my favourite time of the year.

I love do­ing all my shop­ping, then wrapping it all up and putting it un­der the tree.

This year I will be plan­ning some saucy out­fits for the fes­tive sea­son, so watch out!

IF you want to find out what I’m up to then log on to

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