More of Der­ren? Let the world end now!

Midweek Sport - - NEWS -

Der­ren Brown has pulled off some un­likely mind tricks over the years but his Chan­nel 4 show re­ally did achieve the im­pos­si­ble – it made me MISS

Be­cause that is all Apoc­a­lypse was – a much longer, duller and smug­ger ver­sion of ITV’s old hid­den cam­era prank show.

Bea­dle may have been a creepy lit­tle twerp but at least he got his skates on (how he tied them with that hand, God only knows).

Ten min­utes. That was all it took to watch a Bea­dle prank.

Fella comes home to find his garage be­ing dis­man­tled by “coun­cil of­fi­cial”, goes sweary men­tal, is threat­ened with ar­rest by the only bearded po­lice of­fi­cer in the UK, swears some more, re­alises bearded po­lice of­fi­cer is Bea­dle, swears a bit more, claims he knew it was Bea­dle all along, laughs and swears at same time.

Cou­ple of those per episode. Bosh. Job done.

Brown, on the other hand, ex­pects us to sit through the one tire­some prank – he has al­legedly tricked a young chap into be­liev­ing the world is un­der me­te­orite and zom­bie at­tack – for TWO HOURS.

The first hour (the sec­ond airs this Fri­day) was mostly taken up by self­jus­ti­fi­ca­tion, with Brown telling us what a use­less slob his patsy is.

Oth­er­wise we might feel sorry for him and, God for­bid, think Brown is an ut­ter c*** for mak­ing him think his fam­ily was dead.

In­stead we were re­peat­edly told that young Stephen is lazy, self­ish, and in a “dead end job”. As op­posed to a re­ally im­por­tant job, like jumped-up, end-of-thep­ier con artist, eh Der­ren?

They even wheeled the poor lad’s mum on to shed a few tears about how he does not seem to ap­pre­ci­ate her.

Re­ally? Have you ever con­sid­ered that might be be­cause you are the sort of lousy mother who would con­spire in the hu­mil­i­a­tion of her child on na­tional tele­vi­sion?

Hav­ing smeared his mark, Brown was then able to claim his nasty lit­tle prank was about help­ing Stephen turn his life around, via some cheap py­rotech­nics and sub- Ca­su­alty ac­tors.

Yeah right. And Bea­dle was a concert pi­anist.

“If the world ended to­mor­row,” spouted Brown, still in self-jus­ti­fi­ca­tion mode: “Would YOU be happy with how you lived your life?”

Not the part of it I spent watch­ing this sh*te, I wouldn’t.

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