CORRIE lesbian Sophie Webster ( above) is in a bad way after being knocked down by a car, with surgeons implanting metal rods to save her spine.
The poor lass has never had a rod inside her before. But she’d be happy for him and Freddy to watch while Jane had a go.
Meanwhile, Ken Barlow is furious that the accident was caused – sort of – by his wayward daughter Tracy.
“Tracy’s done something stupid and Deirdre is defending her again!” he fumed.
Ever get the feeling the scriptwriters are trying to tell us something? A VERY fond farewell to The Thick Of It, BBC2’s biting political satire, which contained this little gem from disgraced spin doctor Malcolm Tucker ( right): “I don’t just take this job home with me. I take this job home, it ties me to the bed and then it f*cks me all the way from arsehole to breakfast. Then it wakes me up with a cup full of piss slung in my face to make sure I’m awake enough before it kicks me in the bollocks. “This job has taken me in every hole in my f*cking body.”
I had a paper round like that once. THERE were plenty of ghosts and ghoulies on
Halloween night – although, according to judge Nicole Scherzinger ( there is always plenty of “ghoulies” when Jahmene Douglas is around.
The contestants were spooky-ish, with boyband District 3 looking like the thugs from cult film Christopher Maloney’s face, as usual, just looked like an orange.
The most spinechilling moment, however, came when the bloated corpse of Robbie Williams’ career emerged from its grave and stumbled across the stage like a very well-fed zombie.
Obligatory “controversy” was provided by Gary Barlow, who accused Tulisa of having “fag ash breath”.
Miaow. And to think we all thought “low blows” were Tulisa’s speciality. Talk about a judge’s spat...