VALEN­TINE’S IT’S WA­HEY!

Midweek Sport - - NEWS - By JON LIVESEY

ROSES are red, vi­o­lets are blue, buy your mis­sus a pressie and you might get a SCREW!

Thurs­day is St Valen­tine’s Day – the most ro­man­tic day in the cal­en­dar.

But be­fore you get your end away, you’ll have to im­press with an ex­tra spe­cial gift and ex­pert knowl­edge on love and ro­mance – and that’s where Mid­week Sport comes in.

We’re sup­posed to shell out on red roses and cards, or book meals in fancy restau­rants which have put their prices up for the day.

Still, it’s a price worth paying if it con­vinces your wife or girl­friend to strip off like 32D brunette Tea­gan, blonde 32E babe Joanna and 32D hot­tie Terri-Louise, pic­tured be­low.

So we’re pro­vid­ing a few tips and of­fer­ing a few handy sug­ges­tions of cheap but in­cred­i­bly pleas­ing gifts.

Did you know?

More than nine mil­lion peo­ple will buy gifts for their pets this Valen­tine’s

Day Around 85 per cent of the one bil­lion Valen­tine’s Day cards sent ev­ery year are bought

by women In Korea, it’s a Valen­tine’s Day tra­di­tion for sin­gles to eat black noo­dles to mourn their

lone sta­tus More than 36 mil­lion

heart-shaped boxes of choco­lates

are sold for Valen­tine’s Day

each year Ac­cord­ing to Durex, con­dom sales in­crease by up to 30 per cent

around Valen­tine’s

Day Get your mis­sus into bondage with Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James, RRP £7.99. Broaden your lady’s sex­ual hori­zons with The Mam­moth Book Of The Kama Su­tra, £5.59. Get your other half ham­mered and in the mood for just £3.39 with a bot­tle of Lam­brini. Pro­vide her with dis­creet stim­u­la­tion all day with Jig­gle Balls from Ann Sum­mers, £8. Sweeten up life in the sack with candy nip­ple tas­sels from get­ting­per­sonal.co.uk, £4.99.

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