Joanna: I’d love to bonk young men

Midweek Sport - - NEWS - By RACHEL SPENCER

AB­SO­LUTELY Fab­u­lous star Joanna Lum­ley says she would love to be a cougar!

The telly le­gend – fa­mous for play­ing boozy Patsy in the hit BBC com­edy – con­fesses that if she wasn’t hap­pily mar­ried she would be busy bonk­ing younger fel­las.

Joanna, 66, says she is al­ways get­ting chat­ted up by toy­boys and reck­ons she would have a right laugh bed­ding them – if she was sin­gle.

She re­vealed: “Men of­ten try and chat me up – which I love! That hap­pens a lot when I’m abroad, where no­body knows who I am.

“It’s rather lovely to have a young Greek man be­ing ter­ri­bly gal­lant and of­fer­ing me a drink.

“If I wasn’t hap­pily mar­ried, I’m sure I’d be hav­ing a lot of fun.”

And she says she still hasn’t come to terms with be­ing an old age pen­sioner.

“Some­times I look at my age and re­alise I’m an OAP. It shocks me be­cause I don’t feel like I’m 66 at all. I feel more like I’m 35.” PRIM Labour politi­cian Yvette Cooper is at the cen­tre of a willy flash­ing rid­dle!

The Shadow Home Sec­re­tary walked in on a NAKED Tory in the uni­sex chang­ing rooms at West­min­ster.

Yvette, 43, hasn’t let slip who it was who flashed their tackle – but we’re guess­ing it wasn’t her hubby, fel­low MP and Shadow Chan­cel­lor Ed BALLS, 45, will be des­per­ate to find out.

A source said: “One Tory MP, un­aware of the ‘his and hers’ ar­range­ments, gave poor Yvette the Full Monty treat­ment.

“She didn’t know where to look, so it seems she sud­denly spot­ted some­thing very in­ter­est­ing on the ceil­ing!”

Buzzing

A Com­mons in­sider said that, ever the pro, Yvette had re­mained tight-lipped about which MP had flashed his MEM­BER!

But it’s be­come a ma­jor talk­ing point as politi­cians in and around West­min­ster are buzzing with gossip about who the mys­tery flasher might be!

An in­sider said: “Ev­ery­one thought the THERE’S noth­ing scary about soap stunna Gemma Merner’s get up at the Rocky Hor­ror Show.

The beauty showed off her am­ple breasts in fish nets, stilet­tos and a re­veal­ing red corset as she headed to the the­atre show with a stun­ning pal.

Gemma, 28, got into the tra­di­tion of dress­ing up in saucy gear as she at­tended a show­ing of the hit rock ‘n’ roll mu­si­cal in Liver­pool with her pal, model Dani Lawrence.

A source said: “It was more like the Frocky Hor­ror Show, but she still looked really fit.” only fella in the Com­mons Yvette would ever see naked was her hubby – and we all want to know who it is.

“What makes it worse was it was a mem­ber of the op­po­si­tion who she saw in the buff!

“There’s been lots of jokes go­ing round about the next Gen­eral Erec­tion!

“If the Tories and Labour get the same num­ber of seats, then maybe Yvette can set­tle it on who is the most well HUNG in Par­lia­ment!”

WHERE’S WILLY? Yvette Cooper won’t re­veal all

WHAT’S UP, COCK? Cameron and Balls see the funny side

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