He’s a bit handy in the kitchen!
GRUESOME cop drama
returned to BBC1 with a bang. And a squelch.
The squelch came from Ken Barnaby, a grieving dad who murdered the internet “troll” mocking the death of his daughter.
When he realised cops had found a fingerprint at the scene, Ken tried to avoid being detected by blitzing his hand inside a kitchen blender.
Ken would do that, I suppose?
No, I think it was a KitchenAid.
The bang came from a genuinely terrifying scene in which a serial killer bumped off a swanky couple after hiding in their roof space.
No love between them. TOP Gear’s Richard Hammond told a story about rubbing his plums in public after he hit a pothole while out riding his motorbike.
He also sounded like he was rubbing them while reviewing the new Fiesta ST. FAIR play to Kylie on her concise explanation as to why Peter Barlow would not be interested in Leanne now that he is with new missus Carla.
“Why would you have a digestive,” she asked, “when you have a custard cream at home?”
Good point. But why stop there with the biscuit metaphors? Surely every woman on the cobbles has an equal inside the cookie jar.
Tracy would be a cracker – she goes with anything and spreads easily.
Rita would be a ginger snap – for the colour of her hair and the sound of her hip going again. Hayley would be a something with nuts. Lesbian Sophie would be a KitKat – she comes with two fingers or four.
And Gail would be....well, anything really. As long as it is not Nice.