‘Going forward’, MPs can toss off!
MUCH gnashing of teeth was taking place when MPs pretended to be aghast at the idea of earning £6,000 more a year for being useless tossers.
Their hollow indignation at the idea of undeservedly receiving yet more of our wonga had all the integrity of The Fast Show’s 13th Duke of Wymbourne when found in a sixth-form girls’ dormitory at three in the morning: “Me? Here? With my reputation? What were they thinking…”
The debate raged on for so long it nearly managed to do precisely what MPs of all sides hoped it would – block out anyone noticing the looming £30billion funding gap in the NHS.
Because that might centre minds on the fact that all three major parties can now lay claim to having buggered the country’s most important institution.
Not that ANY of them will take the blame. It’ll ALWAYS be the fault of the last people in power.
There was a phone-in on Radio Five Live about it, though, which included one man whose contribution almost saw me steer off the motorway.
Talking about ways of bringing down the cost of treating an ever-growing and ever-ageing population, the bloke said “illnesses” like obesity – or as I call it, “eating too much” – should be tackled by “prevention not cure”. Which presumably means precisely what I just said: Eat less, you won’t get fat, your heart won’t drown in cholesterol and your knees won’t snap. Simple, really.
Just as I was about to nod, he added: “We call this upstreaming.” Oh we DO, do we? FFS! Management speak no longer remains in the boardroom.
Every time Liverpool FC gaffer Brendan Rodgers gives an interview, he’ll use that twattish phrase “going forward”.
Every government f*** up will be followed by an inquiry where the department in question will be found “not fit for purpose”.
They don’t have ratepayers now, either – we’re all “service users” and “stakeholders” now.
Town clerks call themselves “chief executives” and 12 no-mark parish councillors say they’re a “Cabinet”.
It was bad enough these town hall twats were allowed to proliferate like a rampant virus, gobbling up cash like a swarm of locusts. Even worse is that the pricks have now got their own language.