Girls at work give me the cream horn
WITH AGONY IS BROUGHT TO YOU IN ASSOCIATION WITH I GOT A GREAT SEX WORKOUT ON BIKE RIDE IN THE PARK!
I WORK in a large bakery behind the scenes.
I’ve been there four years and I must have shagged about 20 of the girls that work behind the counter.
There’s a very high turnover of serving staff and for that I’m extremely thankful.
I have my own little shagging parlour which is the broom cupboard by the oven.
You’d be amazed how many times I’ve stuck a couple of lemon tarts on a bird’s tits and eaten them off!
That’s one of my specialities. The other is eating a jumbo-size sausage roll out of a bird’s pussy.
Acouple of weeks ago a new lass joined the bakery. She had a right dirty gob on her and in the first couple of days I learned that she shaves her fanny and loves to give blowjobs.
As I was locking up one night I pulled on my coat and found an envelope in the pocket.
Inside was a snap of the new girl TOTALLY NAKED, with her shaved pussy on show.
The next day during her break I grabbed some pastries and took her to my lust nest.
She was soon out of her staff uniform and stood in just her hat with her massive tits jiggling.
Before I said anything she pulled my pants dow, unleashed my one-eyed monster and started to suck it.
Just as I was about to come, she grabbed a cream horn off the tray and stuck it over my end.
I shot my creamy man-stuff up in it and then she gave me a dirty smile and started to eat it.
She then squeezed a sausage roll up her pussy and told me to get chomping and by the time I got my tongue on her clit I was stuffed.
Now she’s invited me round to her place for an all-night shag.
The trouble is I feel a bit lost without my props and don’t know if straight sex is going to get me going. What should I do?
MY girlfriend is good enough to get up every morning to make my packed lunch before I go to work. Trouble is, she demands I give her a good seeing-to for my cheese and pickle.
I don’t mind too much but sometimes I’m a bit knackered and want another 20 minutes’ kip before I head off.
Other times I just want a quick shuffle in the bathroom without all the bollocks of foreplay and all that.
Once I refused to shag her and she didn’t make my sarnies for a whole week – I was absolutely starving as we work in an industrial estate, out in the middle of nowhere, and there are no shops or pubs for miles.
I’ve tried to explain but she refuses to change her ways – telling me she’s just very highly sexed and needs a shag at least once a day. I’m frightened that if I don’t sort her out, she’ll start seeing other blokes behind my back. What can I do?
PR, South Wales A COUPLE of months ago my boss paid me £500 for filming us having sex.
I needed the money because I’m getting married soon and I’ve always fancied him.
The problem is that my boss’s house was burgled last week and he says the DVD was taken!
Now I’m terrified someone who knows me – or my boyfriend – will have seen it.
NS, Manchester BUY a new bike. You got to have a hot, steamyromp, didn’t you? Just buy another and get over it. Sheeeeesh…
FIND a new boozer. And
a new woman to bonk. AS long as you don’t put a bun in her oven, I think you’ll be all right. PRAY that your fella doesn’t see it or your wedding could be off!
Moments later, following a brief, but detailed, explanation…