The Pro­fes­sion­ally Out­raged are wel­come to knock on my door…

Midweek Sport - - NEWS -

ON De­cem­ber 4, 1971 – the day be­fore my first birth­day, so just over 42 and a half years ago – Monty Python recorded ‘The Ar­gu­ment Sketch’.

It be­gins with Michael Palin en­ter­ing a room where he finds John Cleese, and asks him: “Is this the right room for an ar­gu­ment?”

Cleese replies: “I’ve told you once…” and so the row be­gins.

Four decades on and a bril­liant comic idea – that peo­ple will seek out an ar­gu­ment just for the hell of it – con­tin­ues apace in real life on anti-so­cial me­dia.

Be­cause you can’t say any­thing th­ese days with­out be­ing leapt on by The Pro­fes­sion­ally Out­raged (TPO).

Rights cam­paign­ers – be it women’s rights, gay rights, Is­lamic rights, fat rights, thin rights, rude bas­tards’ rights. They’re out there, 24 hours a day, wait­ing to pounce.

They’re noisy lit­tle bas­tards, too. All sane and ra­tio­nal de­bate is be­com­ing drowned out by the shriek­ing wails of “WHAT ABOUT ME?”

It’s a (sort of) sci­en­tific fact, too, that nearly 100 per cent of this tiny but very vo­cal mi­nor­ity spend most of their days skip­ping be­tween Twit­ter and the on­line fo­rums of Mum­snet and the Guardian.

They throw wild ac­cu­sa­tions about any­one who doesn’t agree with them on ev­ery­thing, mark­ing down any dis­senters as at best the spawn of The Devil him­self.

To th­ese peo­ple ev­ery­thing other than the Guardian is “the Mur­doch press”.

While they all claim to love that snoozepa­per, they also refuse to buy it – in their droves.

The dreary rag, which aims to be­come an in­ter­na­tional voice of the foam­ing mad lib­eral, is so mas­sively un­der-sup­ported by its read­er­ship it loses half a mil­lion quid EV­ERY SIN­GLE WEEK.

The in­ter­net has al­lowed th­ese peo­ple to gather in a large vir­tual room to be­come the seething army we now recog­nise as TPO.

Bizarrely, th­ese were the very peo­ple who once upon a time cam­paigned to stick up for the rights of the op­pressed.

As long as it hurt no one, peo­ple should be al­lowed to do what­ever they want in the com­fort of their own homes, they ar­gued.

But those hard-won free­doms only ap­ply to those anointed by TPO. In their eyes ev­ery­one else should be BANNED.

Well I’m not putting up with that bol­locks any­more. My Twit­ter han­dle is at the bot­tom of this col­umn. That IS the right room for an ar­gu­ment.

Bring it on, you whin­ing C**TS.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from UK

© PressReader. All rights reserved.