Arty tarty wants me in the nuddy

WITH AGONY IS BROUGHT TO YOU IN AS­SO­CI­A­TION WITH BE­ING IN THE ‘DOG­HOUSE’ NEVER FELT SO GOOD!

Midweek Sport - - CLASSIFIED SECTION -

Dear Danielle,

AS a skint stu­dent I’m al­ways on the look­out for ex­tra cash.

So when I saw an ad­vert for men to pose nude for artists, I vol­un­teered.

As it was a night class, there was a com­plete cross-sec­tion of peo­ple – both men and women, rang­ing in age from teenagers to over-60s.

Af­ter a while I be­came aware that I was get­ting par­tic­u­larly ad­mir­ing glances from a woman of about 40.

Strip

At the end of the ses­sion she said she’d like to paint me – but in the com­fort of her home stu­dio.

When she of­fered to pay me well I could hardly say no.

That week­end I went to her house where she in­vited me to strip and and lie down.

As she ar­ranged the cush­ions her hand brushed against my cock – which stirred into life.

With­out a word she wrapped her hand round the shaft and be­gan mas­sag­ing it. Then she leaned over and slipped it be­tween her lips and be­gan suck­ing hard.

I be­gan grop­ing her full tits then pushed up her skirt and tugged down her tights and knick­ers.

I gave her clump a quick lick and teased her hard clit be­fore she climbed on me and guided my dick into her wet love-tun­nel.

All I had to do was lie back as she bounced up and down with her hips grind­ing and all too soon I ex­ploded my sticky mess deep in­side her.

Now I visit her reg­u­larly and she shags me more of­ten than she paints me.

The trou­ble is she’s never paid me like she promised.

What can I do?

CS, Nor­folk

Danielle says…

Dear Danielle,

THE wife re­cently cleared off to her mother’s af­ter a blaz­ing row.

As you can imag­ine, within a few min­utes of her get­ting in the taxi and zoom­ing off I had logged on to the Net and was down­load­ing porn as fast as it would come.

Sit­ting there with a large box of Kleenex I tugged fu­ri­ously over group sex, les­bians, ma­ture ladies, anal, blowjobs, hand re­lief, am­a­teur, teens, big boobs, fat lasses, bondage and even foot fetish.

The box of tis­sues was as empty as my ball­bag af­ter about three hours so I cleaned up and went into the kitchen to get a bite to eat.

But there was sod all in the fridge and a moun­tain of dishes in the sink. How do I go about get­ting my wife back?

Danielle says…

ST, Dar­ling­ton UH-OH, seems one young lady has given her fella too much of a mouth­ful – and now he’s only too happy to give an­other young lady one!

End this af­fair be­fore IT could get very com­pli­cated. it ru­ins a lot of lives. Please let me in

babe – I don’t re­ally think you’ve

put on weight

GR­RRRRR! You can stay out there un­till you’re ready to apol­o­gise prop­erly, you

worm! Ha ha ha. Sounds like some­one’s been a

naughty boy!

Oh, hi Shani­qua. Yeah, it would seem I’m in the ‘dog­house’

as it were

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