Keep it covered, idiots!
IT’S tough being a reporter these days.
Ever since the phone hacking scandal – which involved a miniscule few of the 10s of thousands of journos working throughout Britain today – our stock has dived to the point where it sometimes feels people would rather sup with ISIS than have a pint with a scribe.
Things have got so ridiculous that if anyone in the forces or services bumps into a hack in the street – or, God forbid, has one in their family – they’re told to report it to their superiors or face the public wrath.
We’re easy targets, as witnessed earlier this week when the desperate Tory party tried to turn a story about one of their ministers – Brooks Newmark MP ( above) – flashing his cock online into a “tabloid excess” debate. There IS no debate here. When the Minister for Civil Society charged with getting more women to stand as Conservative MPs starts waving his willy at an internet-connected camera, he’s fair game for exposure.
After all, HE’S exposing HIMSELF in the first place.
Just as detestable preachy Labour MP Chris Bryant was equally fair game when he advertised himself on gay link-up app Grindr wearing just a pair of large white underpants.
It doesn’t matter that Newman’s todger was in fact being beamed into the clutches of an undercover male reporter.
The fact is, a married father of five, at 56 years of age, holding relatively high JUDE Law’s ex-missus Sadie Frost ( has a new lifestyle book out in which she advises us to “bang a gong to break up stagnant energy” and “sprinkle a line of salt across doorways to absorb negativity”.
She’s not taking the piss, either.
We might have to give her a job… government office, was excitedly showing off his crown jewels to a young stranger he met online called “Sophie”.
It might not be the crime of the century but it certainly calls into question the judgement of a man who seeks to rule the rest of us.
The words “privacy” and “entrapment” have been bandied around by his mates in the Tory party and – but of bleedin’ course – those sanctimonious wankers at the Guardian, who won’t be happy A DEER tragically died when it was decapitated by a rollercoaster at Lightwater Valley Theme Park in Ripon, North Yorks.
No more stag do’s there, then. unless they’re the only paper left in Britain and we all vote Liberal Democrat.
Well, sod that. We’re not talking about a doddery old fool making a “mistake” with the new office intern.
We ARE talking about a savvy self-made millionaire who himself admits to being a complete IDIOT.
Just like all the celebs whining about their lurid bukkake selfies ending up all over the internet, the message is simple.
Keep your cocks and fannies offline and you won’t have a problem.