I’m hooked on horny £300-a-week hooker

WITH AGONY IS BROUGHT TO YOU IN AS­SO­CI­A­TION WITH DID I HAVE SEX WITH AN AC­TUAL ALIEN AT SCI FI CON­VEN­TION?

Midweek Sport - - NEWS -

Dear Han­nah,

I’M a re­cently di­vorced fa­ther-of-three and I’ve been dat­ing a hooker for two months.

Well, I’m not ex­actly dat­ing her, be­cause it’s cost­ing me £300-a-week to “take her out”.

She’s blonde, 21, and sex­mad. I met her one night when I was kerb-crawl­ing in a red-light dis­trict.

She charged £25 for an ex­pert blowjob and a f**k and I was in­stantly hooked.

In fact, I was so taken by her tech­nique that I ar­ranged to pick her up the next night and I’ve been shag­ging her just about ev­ery evening since.

I don’t sim­ply give her one now, though. First I take her for a nice meal and then I drive her to some se­cluded spot, where I hand over the read­ies and she gets down to business.

Last month I took her on a week’s car­a­van hol­i­day. She charged me £600 for the en­tire week, so I was de­ter­mined to make her earn her money.

On the first night she wore stock­ings and sus­penders and a nurse’s uni­form.

Stiff

I got my knob out and she sucked me off, run­ning her hot wet tongue up and down my shaft and lick­ing my balls.

She then got her tits out and brought me off all over her stiff nip­ples.

See­ing as I was pay­ing so much money for her, I de­cided to video our romps.

I un­dressed her and plunged my head be­tween her thighs to lick her out.

The won­der­ful aroma of her c**t-juices soon got me rock-hard again. She wrapped her legs around my shoul­ders so I could pen­e­trate her more deeply. I then took her doggy-style.

It was a great week and in the end I must have made about 40 video tapes.

I still see her ev­ery night and re­cently asked for a dis­count be­cause I’m vir­tu­ally spend­ing all my money on her.

She said no, but I didn’t com­plain be­cause I’m happy to be go­ing out with her after be­ing stuck in my lonely flat since me and the mis­sus split up.

I want to marry her, but I don’t know how to ask her and I’m afraid she’ll tell me to piss off.

Any ad­vice?

Han­nah says…

I WORK in a posh bar of a ho­tel.

A cou­ple of weeks ago a group of women held

a school re­union there. They all got very drunk and I got chat­ting

. She was to one who had long, brown hair

of tits only 5ft tall but had a mas­sive pair and lovely arse. At one in the morn­ing I told them all

that they would have to leave. Ev­ery­one left

my ex­cept two, the woman who had caught eye and her mate. I reckon they were

in their mid-40s – I’m only 23.

their I went over to tell them to fin­ish drinks and the one I fan­cied had

let her skirt ride up to show the tops of her stock­ings. Her mate then said: “He’s look­ing to

see if you’ve got any knick­ers on.” Then the one I fan­cied got my cock out.

a She sucked me off while her mate took pic­ture.

a ta­ble I then f**ked the other one over

of that. and the busty brunette took a snap They left gig­gling and promised to

send far noth­ing. me a copy of the snaps, but so What should I do?

TG, Lake Dis­trict YOUR mem­ory of it seems

pho­to­graphic to me

AP, Manch­ester

TA DA! Bet you don’t get many pairs like this on planet Zob, eh? Come on, what’s your

real name? Quin­tu­plets? No more nights down the bingo for you! Next time you meet a hunky alien ask him to stick it up Uranus!

ONLY if he prom­ises not to stick it up your bum. YES, for­get it. She’s tak­ing you for a ride.

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