MY wife was making me some sandwiches with meat paste the other day and I was stood behind her looking at her arse as she was wearing just an apron and knickers.
I thought to myself: “What the f**k am I doing with my life!”
Not only were the sandwiches shit, but her arse looked like a bag of ferrets propped up on two tyres.
It was even worse when she turned round and I had to look at her old, craggy, moaning face.
So on the drive to work I tossed the sarnies out of the window and decided to take one of the girls at work out for lunch.
I’m 50 and she’s in her early 30s and we’re always flirting with each other.
She readily accepted my lunch invitation, so I took her to an out-of-the-way country pub.
I explained that I’d just had a row