Midweek Sport

War drama didn’t need a dose of Downton!

Joan’s choccy horror show

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OUR GIRL finished this week – and what could have been a decent tale about modern warfare had become Downton Abbey in desert camouflage.

Only a proper TV knob would look at the Afghanista­n conflict and think: “Yeah, all this heroism and danger and loyalty is OK, but what we really need is ANOTHER story about a saucy young lass from the wrong side of the tracks falling for an upper-class toff.”

If you care, Molly bagged her toff and went to his big house in a posh frock for dinner and smooching.

Apparently, this is more interestin­g than a real war. CHOCCYWOCC­YDOODAH STARSTRUCK is about famous people ordering fancy cakes.

Incredibly, it is not quite as bad as it sounds and I found myself engrossed by the monumental struggle to create a chocolate London skyline for the rapper Tinie Tempah.

Now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d write. Anyway, tune in this week because the featured celebrity is the late comedian Joan Rivers.

What was her special design request? Did they make it on time? And did they have to whack a chocolate coffin on top at the last minute and call it a funeral cake?

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