War drama didn’t need a dose of Downton!

Joan’s choccy hor­ror show

Midweek Sport - - BATCHELOR ON THE BOX -

OUR GIRL fin­ished this week – and what could have been a de­cent tale about mod­ern war­fare had be­come Downton Abbey in desert cam­ou­flage.

Only a proper TV knob would look at the Afghanistan con­flict and think: “Yeah, all this hero­ism and dan­ger and loy­alty is OK, but what we re­ally need is ANOTHER story about a saucy young lass from the wrong side of the tracks fall­ing for an up­per-class toff.”

If you care, Molly bagged her toff and went to his big house in a posh frock for din­ner and smooching.

Ap­par­ently, this is more in­ter­est­ing than a real war. CHOC­CY­WOC­CY­DOO­DAH STARSTRUCK is about fa­mous peo­ple or­der­ing fancy cakes.

In­cred­i­bly, it is not quite as bad as it sounds and I found my­self en­grossed by the mon­u­men­tal strug­gle to cre­ate a choco­late London sky­line for the rap­per Tinie Tem­pah.

Now there’s a sen­tence I never thought I’d write. Any­way, tune in this week be­cause the fea­tured celebrity is the late co­me­dian Joan Rivers.

What was her spe­cial de­sign re­quest? Did they make it on time? And did they have to whack a choco­late cof­fin on top at the last minute and call it a fu­neral cake?

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