Midweek Sport - - CLASSIFIED -

I GET re­ally turned on by but­tons. Whether they’re fas­tened on me, or I’m un­dress­ing some­one wear­ing them, they give me a rag­ing hard-on.

It’s a bit of an un­usual fetish, so I have to go to a specialist lady of the night to live out my fan­tasy.

I have had two spe­cial sets of clothes made up for us for when we meet up, which ob­vi­ously con­tain thou­sands of but­tons.

There must be 30 of them in the crotch area alone on my out­fit and I love it as she slowly un­does all of them and un­leashes my throb­bing man­hood.

She then slowly licks the length of my shaft as she con­tin­ues to undo the 200 or so but­tons on my trousers.

This girl is a specialist at deep-throat and once she’s fin­ished un­do­ing all the but­tons she lets me face-f**k her while I undo hers. Do you think this is a bit weird?

NB, Manch­ester

Bai­ley says…

NOT at all, so long as you’re both en­joy­ing it. EMAIL: agony@sun­daysport.co.uk OR MAIL TO: Agony, Sun­day Sport,MacLaren House, Tal­bot Road, Old Traf­ford, Manch­ester M32 0FP I WENT to a beer fes­ti­val with a few mates and was pleased to find that it wasn’t full of bearded, san­dal and sock-wear­ing real ale bores.

In fact, be­ing a univer­sity town, it was rammed full of girl stu­dents. They were in the short­est of shorts in the hot weather and knock­ing back the booze like good ’uns.

My mates and I got chat­ting with one group and I pulled. We sneaked off into one of the on-site por­ta­ble toi­lets and I soon had her keks off and was lick­ing her out.

Then I plunged in with my knob. We were re­ally go­ing for it when the bog con­trap­tion tipped over, send­ing us crash­ing arse over tit.

The poor girl was mor­ti­fied and, af­ter we had been res­cued, wouldn’t give me her num­ber be­fore she fled.

I’d love to see her again.

Bai­ley says…

GH, Cambs I ex­pect it will be ALE over for you af­ter that sober­ing ex­pe­ri­ence. I WENT to the zoo at the week­end with my mis­sus. It was years since we’d been and we had a re­ally great time.

The best bit was af­ter we’d had a look at the chim­panzees.

We saw one pair get­ting re­ally frisky and we watched gob­s­macked as the male humped his mate.

It was such a good per­for­mance that my mis­sus dragged me away to a lit­tle wooden pavil­ion.

Once in­side, she pulled down my keks, lifted her skirt and pre­sented her arse for rear en­try.

Her minge was soak­ing in an­tic­i­pa­tion and I plugged her good and proper – mon­key-style.

Now she’s on about get­ting a pet chimp. What do you think?

Bai­ley says…

CAR­ING for a chimp takes de­vo­tion. Stick a wildlife DVD in and hope that does the trick. I’VE been a mem­ber of a ten­nis club few years and of­ten for a crack one off in­side men’s chang­ing the rooms which over­look courts. the I usu­ally do it on ladies’ match night I’ve fin­ished my game. af­ter I stand up on a bench and peep a high-level win­dow through with my floppy cock my hands. in Then I see a skirt ride up and spot knick­ers. My cock white and is rigid straight I start to slowly away tug on it. I’ve usu­ally shot my load for the be­fore they’ve changed first time ends. My prob­lem is that I have a bar­ren through the winter. spell Any ideas?

Bai­ley says…

FC, Cheshire CB, Nor­folk GET your­self some women’s ten­nis vids a grip of your­self at home. and get

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