Modelling Lives

Tales from the miniature world.

The therapeutic nature of railway modelling helped Andy Barker cope with Post-traumatic Stress Disorder.

The therapeutic nature of railway modelling has helped serviceman Andy Barker cope with Post-traumatic Stress Disorder.

I’ve enjoyed railways and model kits ever since I was a lad, spending summer holidays at my gran’s house in sleepy Wiltshire, having travelled from Paddington. The sounds and smells of that magnificent station, with its rows of HSTS, left a lasting image in that young boy’s mind. After joining the Army in 1997, I initially served with the Royal Corps of Signals, deploying several times to the Balkans, Iraq and Afghanistan. Although I hadn’t noticed anything, my wife has since said that she saw a change in me after my second stint in Iraq. I transferred into the Queen Alexandra’s Royal Army Nursing Corps (QARANC) in 2012 and, soon after completing training, I volunteered to return to Afghanistan. Six months were spent working in the Emergency Department of the Role 3 hospital at Camp Bastion, Helmand Province. On returning to the UK, I had no issues with the things I’d seen and done, either on the last tour or previous ones. Life seemed normal in that respect. Anxiety, depression, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), mental illness – each can strike at the most inopportune moment. Mine came nearly a year after returning from Afghanistan; my mind just said ‘enough’. I could not stand the thought of seeing any more injured children. People with PTSD have different triggers. For me, it’s the sound of crying children - not one having a tantrum, but the cry of a child who is hurt or unwell. I’ve been receiving treatment ever since. I’ve purposely kept myself busy and working and I’m fortunate that I’ve been able to carry on. On the bad days it’s a struggle to do anything, demanding Herculean effort to motivate myself. There have been times when I’ve struggled with my own children crying and, at one point, I even planned how to end my life. But a chance purchase of a model railway magazine reignited a past interest and I soon set about building my 4ft by 1ft working diorama ‘Winterfall’. Once immersed in modelling my mind soon becomes distracted and I have complete control over the small world that I’m building. Not only is it the practical aspect that helps, but also being part of a wider community, be it railway or scale modellers. The hobby has enabled me to meet similarly minded people who share the same interests – some of whom have similar issues. From the guys at the International Scale Modeller forum to the various model railway social media groups, all have helped keep me going. It was through the modelling community that I was introduced to Malcolm Childs of Models for Heroes (see MR244) and the fantastic work he’s doing. I wanted to help people going through similar situations, so I decided to document everything in a blog and started Aces High Hobbies. My ambition is to one day, with the right guidance, turn it into a vintage model shop with a twist. For anyone out there reading this who is struggling with mental health issues, please don’t be afraid to talk. You’re not alone and, within this hobby, you never will be.

For anyone out there reading this, struggling with mental health issues, please don’t be afraid to talk. You’re not alone and, within this hobby, you never will be