AVOID BANK HOLIDAY BLUES
Bypass busy beaches
Grey suicidal slot-machine seaside towns, packed beaches reeking of dayold deep-fried doughnut batter and abandoned donkey turds. Two trafficjammed roads get you in, but there ain’t enough tarmac in the world to get you out again fast enough. Don’t go there.
Avoid motorway madness
Bank Holiday motorways are basically giant car parks for people who’ve lost the will to live, but it takes a special kind of existential despair to take a bike onto one. What were you thinking? As for the Dartford Crossing on Monday evening…
Beauty spots get ugly
The Lakes, Dales and North Yorks Moors are great rides, but not on Bank Holidays when they’re clogged with fat motorists dozing in crawling caravan convoys. Steer well clear.
Don’t worry about weather
The forecast might predict sunshine, but this is Britain. Hit the road in your leathers and the heavens will open... guaranteed. Hello British summer, meet my waterproofs. But who cares?
Busy seaside resorts result in deck chair throwing... probably
R E X