Si­mon’s Scathing Com­ments

No. 1 Magazine - - CELEBRITY -

Since hav­ing his son, Si­mon has turned into a bit of a softie, but back in the day he more than earned his Mr Nasty moniker. Check out Si­mon’s mean­est put-downs.

”If you had lived 2,000 years ago and sung like that, I think they would have stoned you.”

“There’s as much chance of you be­ing a rock star as me fly­ing to the moon to­mor­row morn­ing for break­fast.”

”It was a bit like or­der­ing a ham­burger and only get­ting the bun.”

“If the cri­te­ria was to vote peo­ple through for sing­ing ev­ery note out of tune, you would win tonight.”

“My ad­vice would be if you want to pur­sue a ca­reer in the music busi­ness, don’t.”

“You ac­tu­ally sing like a train go­ing off the rails. You sort of start off in tune and then it goes com­pletely off. And very, very fast.”

“I’m tempted to ask if you sang that the night be­fore your wife left you.”

“That song was like go­ing to a zoo or some­thing. I mean the noises were be­yond any­thing I have ever, ever heard.”

“Do you have a sing­ing teacher? Get a lawyer and sue her.”

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from UK

© PressReader. All rights reserved.