Spice Up Your Life!
We’ve found some (very) good vibrations
1 The bargain one
Us Brits are often known as a tight bunch (we mean in the wallet department, you filth bags). But why spend a fortune on something that’s going to get ruined? That’s why we love Nooky Finger, £1, Poundland. It’s a bit like a Rubik Cube – you have to practise, practise, practise but you will be rewarded for your nimble digits in the end.
2 The Shhhh! Quiet! one
Don’t want the neighbours thinking you’re keeping a beehive or two in your bedroom? ‘Rechargeable vibrators are often quieter than the battery-operated kind,’ says Lovehoney’s sex expert Sammi Cole. ‘And vibes made from silicone are the quietest of all.’ Almost soundless, we rate the Satisfyer Pro Traveler, RRP £44.95, satisfyer.com/uk. Now to deal with your screams…
3 The up-the-bum one
For some it’s exit-only, but for others it’s the doorway to Narnia. Tempted by anal fun? ‘Make sure that anything going into your bum has a flared base and slim neck,’ warns Sammi. ‘The anus has a habit of sucking in anything that isn’t anchored, which can lead to embarrassing A&E trips!’ They don’t show that on Casualty. Sweet Sensation Booty Plug, RRP £13.99, so-divine.com, is petite for a first timer. Go slow and don’t forget the lube. Enough said.
4 The clithitting one
Just like an iceberg, your clitoris has hidden depths. ‘Stimulation of the clitoris is often crucial to reach the big O,’ says Sammi. ‘So toys designed to stimulate this area greatly increase your chance of coming.’ The Sona, RRP £129, lelo.com/sona, excites 75% more of your clitoris (like the bit not visible on the outside). Sink it like Titanic.
5 The his ’n’ hers one
Think# twinning is winning? Go twosies on an Anniversary Collection W-vibe, RRP £195, lovehoney.co.uk. With two toys that work together and can even be set to music, it’s the Kim and Kanye of vibrators. Although who gets it if you split up is another matter.
6 The laughout-loud #lol ones
Michael Mcintyre, Micky Flanagan, Michael Gove. Everyone loves a joker. So have some LOLS with your orgasms, too. On a date? ‘Wear Lovehoney’s Hot Date Remote Control Vibrating Knickers [RRP £39.99] and hand the remote control to your partner,’ suggests Sammi. ‘Make sure you’re somewhere noisy!’
7 The extra-hot one
‘Warm sex toys can increase sensitivity,’ says Sammi. ‘But if you buy an electrical sex toy that unintentionally gets very hot, there’s a chance it’s faulty – return it ASAP!’ We love Kiss Kiss Vibrating Rabbit, £64.99, so-divine.com, which has a handy heat function to drive you hopping wild. Sorry.