Hey, we added a bit to The Spy that older readers might enjoy.
Aweak pound is bad for business – especially if your business involves international travel, the purchase of highly specialised equipment, and the use of coins to distract guards from their rigid patrol routes. The Spy likes to throw stout, hefty coins, imbued with the transient confidence of a proud banker wiping off gravy stains with a £50 note in his right hand, while embezzling millions from an orphanage for sick Victorian chimney sweeps with the left. Alas, the current state of the economy means weak, anaemic coins, which in turn means The Spy has been forced to sublet.
Having a tenant hasn’t been great for The Spy’s work. Flatmates, it seems, have a poor grasp of HQ safety – even basic, common sense rules, such as “Don’t put bread in the decoy toaster” or “The pen is a gun, the gun is a lighter, the lighter is a remote detonator for enough explosives to detach Swanage from the mainland”. As if that wasn’t bad enough, The Spy was forced to relocate the dagger collection, because “night assassins” is somehow not a good enough reason to stuff them inside of every pillow.
If only The Spy had the patronage of a rich benefactor – perhaps Valve, who must have plenty of spare cash thanks to the ability to earn money via seminal shooters, virtual hats, and a percentage cut of every game sold on Steam. So much money that, almost ten years since Half-Life 2:
Episode 2, there’s no sequel in sight, despite constant online clamouring. The fervour is enough to make you wonder if fans would sacrifice a beloved family pet for a chance to play Half-Life 3. Perhaps no one would go that far, but they might insult an ageing hamster, or rough up an irritating parrot.
Despite these hypothetical mild perils, Half-Life’s future remains in doubt – especially if you believe an anonymous Valve source quoted in a recent Game Informer interview. “There is no such thing as Half-Life
3,” said the interviewee, bluntly. “Valve has never announced a
If only The Spy had the pat ronage of a rich benefactor – perhaps Valve
Half-Life 3. The closest they’ve come is, after Half-Life 2, they said there would be three episodes.” This is true enough: at some point over the past decade, everybody decided they sure hadn’t waited this long for Episode 3. Valve continued to say nothing. None of this is to say that a
Half-Life project doesn’t exist. In fact, it sounds as if there have been many attempts. “I know at various times there have been different groups of people that have started things that they hoped and imagined would be
Half-Life 3,” said the source. “All of
half a life
Despite Valve’s unusual structure, all reports – both here, anonymously, and previously from other former Valve staffers – suggest there’s a guiding hand. “There’s something with that third episode that isn’t sitting right with Gabe and other people at Valve,” says Game Informer’s source. “Ultimately it just starves to death. The people that tried to give it life find themselves better off working on other projects.”
The source reveals some of the more eccentric
Half-Life projects that were supposedly being considered – an RTS and a live-action adventure – but ultimately, the interviewee seems pessimistic about
Half-Life 3’ s chances. Of course, it’s worth remembering that this is a single source, and that none of this information has been verified. Or, as Gabe Newell put it in a recent Reddit Q&A, “I personally believe all unidentified anonymous sources on the internet.”
Will Half-Life 3 ever be released? The Spy doesn’t know. Here’s what The Spy can say for sure: there used to be a plasma pistol shaped like a hair dryer on this desk, and if The Spy doesn’t go and retrieve it, The Spy can look forward to another week of searching for a non-vaporised flatmate on Gumtree. Spy out. The Spy them are actual, valid things that are happening inside of the walls of Valve. To pick one thing and say, this was absolutely Half-Life 3, or this is
Half-Life 3, that’s hard to do given the nature of how Valve works.” If true, this is Valve’s oft-touted creative freedom in action.