A mes­sage to Schreier.

The Spy needs every­body to sit down for a minute. Are you com­fort­able? Good. Ac­tu­ally, no! That’s bad! That’s bad be­cause The Spy wants you to be un­com­fort­ably aware of how time-con­sum­ing it is to both hunt down the videogame in­dus­try’s deep­est se­crets and then present them as part of an ar­guably over­wrought ‘bit’. What you do not do, when you are The Spy, is sim­ply ‘find some­thing out’ and then ‘Tweet it’.

That’s right, Ko­taku’s Ja­son Schreier – if that is your real name – The Spy sees you. The Spy sees you vis­it­ing Mafia III de­vel­op­ers Hangar 13 for a story, pub­lish­ing said story, and then sim­ply tweet­ing that next door a new 2K stu­dio is work­ing on the next BioShock. Did you not con­sider bury­ing this in­for­ma­tion some­where in the sec­ond para­graph of a decade-span­ning run­ning joke about spies? Do you want ev­ery­thing to boil down to ‘in­ter­est­ing facts’, Ja­son, is that it? All of us, trad­ing ‘facts’ sim­ply and quickly like ef­fi­cient ro­bot peo­ple? The Spy’s seen that movie, Ja­son, and it DOES NOT END WELL. Also, it is NOT COM­PAT­I­BLE WITH THE ANAL­OGY THE SPY DE­PENDS ON.

Sorry. The Spy has had quite a month. 2K are likely work­ing on a new BioShock, okay? We know lit­er­ally noth­ing else about it.

Let us re­turn to com­fort­ing home ter­ri­tory: pon­der­ing what­ever it is that the many limbs of the Ubisoft ma­chine are up to at any given time. The Spy’s ul­tra­sen­si­tive Clan­cy­track­ers (who watches the watch­men, in­deed) re­port fresh rum­blings in Swe­den, where The Divi­sion devs Mas­sive are ru­moured to be at work on a battle royale game. Work started in Jan­uary, and they’re hop­ing to turn it around in time for a re­veal at E3.

A plague of battle royales

This is one of those sin­gle-source deals, so take it with a pinch of salt: but at the very least The Spy thinks it sounds true, and that’s often enough for The Spy. Con­sider that be­tween PUBG and Fort­nite, the en­tire shooter in­dus­try turned up­side down last year and none of the big pub­lish­ers have re­ally re­acted yet. Even so, each is sit­ting on stacks of FPS devs – loads of them, in a huge mound, like a ball pond – and The Spy would be sur­prised if this year’s E3 was not, at least in part, an ex­er­cise in shak­ing that ball pond un­til battle royale games fall out.

The Divi­sion is a nat­u­ral fit for the for­mat, too – and if they take ad­van­tage of that fancy com­puter New York they made, they could in­tro­duce ur­ban com­bat to a genre typ­i­fied by treks across vast golf cour­ses.

Else­where in Ubi­land, ru­mour has it that suc­cess­ful As­sas­sin’s Creed re­vival-slash- Witcher trib­ute act

As­sas­sin’s Creed Ori­gins is mov­ing across the Mediter­ranean for its unan­nounced se­quel. An­cient Greece is the ru­moured set­ting for As­sas­sin’s Creed – er – 21, which will prob­a­bly have a cool sub­ti­tle like ‘The Be­gin­ning’, even though the pre­vi­ous one was called

Ori­gins. The Spy un­der­stands that Ubisoft has been ner­vous about mak­ing As­sas­sin’s Creed ap­pear im­pen­e­tra­ble to new­com­ers, so it may go for some­thing com­fort­ing like ‘It’s Okay To Start With This One’. Here’s the thing, though, Ubisoft: when you’ve got a ‘thing’, stick with it. Your thing is ‘time travel mem­ory adventure’. The first one was con­fus­ing! They’re all go­ing to be con­fus­ing! And that’s okay! Own your over­wrought thing! Spy out!

As­sas­sin’ s Creed Ori­gins is mov­ing ac ross the Mediter­ranean for its se­quel

The Spy

The Spy needs a mo­ment of your time, Ja­son Schreier.

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