BUT WHO WATCHES THE SPY?
A message to Schreier.
The Spy needs everybody to sit down for a minute. Are you comfortable? Good. Actually, no! That’s bad! That’s bad because The Spy wants you to be uncomfortably aware of how time-consuming it is to both hunt down the videogame industry’s deepest secrets and then present them as part of an arguably overwrought ‘bit’. What you do not do, when you are The Spy, is simply ‘find something out’ and then ‘Tweet it’.
That’s right, Kotaku’s Jason Schreier – if that is your real name – The Spy sees you. The Spy sees you visiting Mafia III developers Hangar 13 for a story, publishing said story, and then simply tweeting that next door a new 2K studio is working on the next BioShock. Did you not consider burying this information somewhere in the second paragraph of a decade-spanning running joke about spies? Do you want everything to boil down to ‘interesting facts’, Jason, is that it? All of us, trading ‘facts’ simply and quickly like efficient robot people? The Spy’s seen that movie, Jason, and it DOES NOT END WELL. Also, it is NOT COMPATIBLE WITH THE ANALOGY THE SPY DEPENDS ON.
Sorry. The Spy has had quite a month. 2K are likely working on a new BioShock, okay? We know literally nothing else about it.
Let us return to comforting home territory: pondering whatever it is that the many limbs of the Ubisoft machine are up to at any given time. The Spy’s ultrasensitive Clancytrackers (who watches the watchmen, indeed) report fresh rumblings in Sweden, where The Division devs Massive are rumoured to be at work on a battle royale game. Work started in January, and they’re hoping to turn it around in time for a reveal at E3.
A plague of battle royales
This is one of those single-source deals, so take it with a pinch of salt: but at the very least The Spy thinks it sounds true, and that’s often enough for The Spy. Consider that between PUBG and Fortnite, the entire shooter industry turned upside down last year and none of the big publishers have really reacted yet. Even so, each is sitting on stacks of FPS devs – loads of them, in a huge mound, like a ball pond – and The Spy would be surprised if this year’s E3 was not, at least in part, an exercise in shaking that ball pond until battle royale games fall out.
The Division is a natural fit for the format, too – and if they take advantage of that fancy computer New York they made, they could introduce urban combat to a genre typified by treks across vast golf courses.
Elsewhere in Ubiland, rumour has it that successful Assassin’s Creed revival-slash- Witcher tribute act
Assassin’s Creed Origins is moving across the Mediterranean for its unannounced sequel. Ancient Greece is the rumoured setting for Assassin’s Creed – er – 21, which will probably have a cool subtitle like ‘The Beginning’, even though the previous one was called
Origins. The Spy understands that Ubisoft has been nervous about making Assassin’s Creed appear impenetrable to newcomers, so it may go for something comforting like ‘It’s Okay To Start With This One’. Here’s the thing, though, Ubisoft: when you’ve got a ‘thing’, stick with it. Your thing is ‘time travel memory adventure’. The first one was confusing! They’re all going to be confusing! And that’s okay! Own your overwrought thing! Spy out!
Assassin’ s Creed Origins is moving ac ross the Mediterranean for its sequel
The Spy needs a moment of your time, Jason Schreier.