Health and Hap­pi­ness

My best friend has just lost her mum and is com­pletely dev­as­tated. What can I do to help as she grieves?

Pick Me Up! Special - - News -

Sup­port­ing some­one through a be­reave­ment can feel like a daunt­ing prospect, but there are lots of ways you can of­fer com­fort. Most im­por­tantly, the last thing you should do is avoid them. Any form of con­tact is es­sen­tial for their re­cov­ery, even if all you do is say how sorry you are.

BE HANDS ON With so much to or­gan­ise, try to of­fer prac­ti­cal ways you can help, such as bring­ing round a cooked din­ner they can put in the oven, tak­ing their kids to school, or of­fer­ing to run er­rands. Gen­tly ask if they would like you to go with them to make fu­neral ar­range­ments and of­fer to ac­com­pany them on the day. TIME TO LIS­TEN Cru­cially, it’s im­por­tant to lis­ten to those who have suf­fered a loss. Don’t tell them you know how they feel - ev­ery­one is unique - or use clichés such as ‘time heals.’ In­stead, en­cour­age them to share mem­o­ries and per­haps add your own. Let them know they can cry with you.

DON’T FOR­GET There’s no time scale for griev­ing, so it’s im­por­tant to re­mem­ber their pain. Make a note of im­por­tant dates such as birth­days and an­niver­saries and drop them a thought­ful mes­sage on those days or pop round some flow­ers. If they are strug­gling, then sug­gest be­reave­ment coun­selling.

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