WHEN HE’S NOT DRESSING HIS CAT IN ARMOUR, THE BASS WIZARD IS RETHINKING TOILET BOWL DESIGN.
We call the bass whizz at home to talk toilet design flaws and why vegetables suck.
Hello. Where are you right now? I am home – chilling. My mom just came over and I’m watching cartoons, playing video games and reading comics. Are you scared of thunder? No, man. I have been trying to get as close as I can. I wear a lot of metal outside, but it’s just not been the day for me to go. What other weather do you prefer? I prefer it really cold. Friends from the UK say I only like the cold as I’m from LA. A lot of the time I just wear shorts in the cold. You’d like the north of England, they never wear coats in the winter there as a matter of pride. Yeah, man. I am all about that life. Making it weird. Just be out there, kind of nekkid. Careful. It’s a fine line between being a libertarian and being a flasher. Do you prefer cats or dogs? I think we know the answer to that one. I just like the curiosity of a cat. Right now, my cat Tron is dressed in Samurai armour and has seen the same thing 20 times but every time she sees it, she freaks out, she stops and her eyes get bigger. She’s staring right now like she’s going to kill something – but she’s not going anywhere! In the cartoon the ThunderCats were always battling the evil mummy, Mumm-Ra. Who is your Mumm-Ra? I want to say vegetables. Why? Vegetables are good for you. I dislike all of them. I just wish there wasn’t a need for them. Meat tastes better by itself. You have to psych yourself into thinking vegetables are amazing. You’re the anti-Morrissey. With vegetables, I don’t like feeling like they have a stronghold over my life. If the popular dating app paid you enough, would you change your name to Tindercat? Wow! No, I would never change my name to Tindercat. You could call your next album Swipe Right. That is terrible. Your pinned tweet on Twitter says, “I’m getting tired of my dick touching these toilet rims out here in Europe. Seriously.” Have you found a solution to this issue? I know that everybody knows what I am talking about. It’s just a simple cutaway so your penis does not have to touch the rim of a toilet. Just cut a hole for the dick. It’s not crazy. It’s not far-fetched. Just do it. Is the subtext really that you are better endowed than the average man? I think it applies to everybody. I am in a crowd of many. I know it sits in the back of everybody’s mind. “What am I supposed to do with my nuts on this toilet?” Are you supposed to lift them above it and hold onto them the whole time? I’m confused. Are you good at house chores? With having a cat, if I don’t clean up, then the house turns into a big fur ball. I tidy up a bit, but I never do the dishes. I have a dishwasher, but I don’t use it. It’s just not my thing. What are you doing in 20 minutes’ time? I may be playing video games but, other than that, I am just going to be randomly touching things and talking to my cat. Business as usual.
“WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MY NUTS ON THIS TOILET?”
Daisy Ager Thundercat and (inset) his pet moggy Tron’s killer stare.