THUN­DER­CAT

WHEN HE’S NOT DRESS­ING HIS CAT IN AR­MOUR, THE BASS WIZ­ARD IS RE­THINK­ING TOI­LET BOWL DE­SIGN.

Q (UK) - - Contents - EA­MONN FORDE

We call the bass whizz at home to talk toi­let de­sign flaws and why veg­eta­bles suck.

Hello. Where are you right now? I am home – chill­ing. My mom just came over and I’m watch­ing car­toons, play­ing video games and read­ing comics. Are you scared of thun­der? No, man. I have been try­ing to get as close as I can. I wear a lot of metal out­side, but it’s just not been the day for me to go. What other weather do you pre­fer? I pre­fer it re­ally cold. Friends from the UK say I only like the cold as I’m from LA. A lot of the time I just wear shorts in the cold. You’d like the north of Eng­land, they never wear coats in the win­ter there as a mat­ter of pride. Yeah, man. I am all about that life. Mak­ing it weird. Just be out there, kind of nekkid. Care­ful. It’s a fine line be­tween be­ing a lib­er­tar­ian and be­ing a flasher. Do you pre­fer cats or dogs? I think we know the an­swer to that one. I just like the cu­rios­ity of a cat. Right now, my cat Tron is dressed in Sa­mu­rai ar­mour and has seen the same thing 20 times but ev­ery time she sees it, she freaks out, she stops and her eyes get big­ger. She’s star­ing right now like she’s go­ing to kill some­thing – but she’s not go­ing any­where! In the car­toon the Thun­derCats were al­ways bat­tling the evil mummy, Mumm-Ra. Who is your Mumm-Ra? I want to say veg­eta­bles. Why? Veg­eta­bles are good for you. I dis­like all of them. I just wish there wasn’t a need for them. Meat tastes bet­ter by it­self. You have to psych your­self into think­ing veg­eta­bles are amaz­ing. You’re the anti-Mor­ris­sey. With veg­eta­bles, I don’t like feel­ing like they have a strong­hold over my life. If the pop­u­lar dat­ing app paid you enough, would you change your name to Tin­der­cat? Wow! No, I would never change my name to Tin­der­cat. You could call your next al­bum Swipe Right. That is ter­ri­ble. Your pinned tweet on Twit­ter says, “I’m get­ting tired of my dick touch­ing these toi­let rims out here in Europe. Se­ri­ously.” Have you found a so­lu­tion to this is­sue? I know that every­body knows what I am talk­ing about. It’s just a sim­ple cut­away so your pe­nis does not have to touch the rim of a toi­let. Just cut a hole for the dick. It’s not crazy. It’s not far-fetched. Just do it. Is the sub­text re­ally that you are bet­ter en­dowed than the av­er­age man? I think it ap­plies to every­body. I am in a crowd of many. I know it sits in the back of every­body’s mind. “What am I sup­posed to do with my nuts on this toi­let?” Are you sup­posed to lift them above it and hold onto them the whole time? I’m con­fused. Are you good at house chores? With hav­ing a cat, if I don’t clean up, then the house turns into a big fur ball. I tidy up a bit, but I never do the dishes. I have a dish­washer, but I don’t use it. It’s just not my thing. What are you do­ing in 20 min­utes’ time? I may be play­ing video games but, other than that, I am just go­ing to be ran­domly touch­ing things and talk­ing to my cat. Busi­ness as usual.

“WHAT AM I SUP­POSED TO DO WITH MY NUTS ON THIS TOI­LET?”

Daisy Ager Thun­der­cat and (inset) his pet moggy Tron’s killer stare.

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