10 COMMANDMENTS: BIG NARSTIE

Pos­i­tiv­ity, punc­tu­al­ity and “pum pum”… the grime star de­liv­ers his golden rules for liv­ing.

Q (UK) - - Contents -

The grime star on the joy of a Snick­ers and why one shouldn’t be a c**t. Sounds fair.

1 GET IN­FORMED

The only thing I learnt at school was how to count. My ex­pe­ri­ence of ed­u­ca­tion was crap at the be­gin­ning, but I’m start­ing to flour­ish a bit now. What I’ve learnt is that life is an ed­u­ca­tion in it­self, es­pe­cially learn­ing how to deal with peo­ple. Knowl­edge is power and the per­son with the most in­for­ma­tion wins. You know, a well-ed­u­cated man can take your whole life and ev­ery­thing you own with just a Parker pen and a nice sen­tence.

2 DON’T BE LATE

My grandma and mum taught me ev­ery­thing. They weren’t rich peo­ple, but they were bil­lion­aires in man­ners and re­spect. And that’s helped me and put me in places where money could never put me. I swear down, man­ners and re­spect will take you places that money can’t be­cause with money ev­ery­thing’s got a time, date and a sched­ule. Like imag­ine now if I was late for my in­ter­view with you and you’ve only got 25 min­utes, you’d think I was a to­tal and ut­ter prick and you wouldn’t like me and the in­ter­view would be crap.

3 CHOOSE YOUR WORDS WISELY

Ev­ery­one should be ac­count­able for their words be­cause if you talk shit, you’ll get banged. I still kind of live by medieval poli­cies, like the rea­son why a lot of peo­ple didn’t get into ar­gu­ments in medieval times was be­cause if you talked a lot of shit I might chal­lenge you to a duel, yeah? So ev­ery­one was re­ally care­ful about their words and were ac­tu­ally re­ally nice to each other. But nowa­days peo­ple aren’t ac­count­able for their words and ac­tions, so you get a lot of loud talk­ers who take no ac­tion. I’m try­ing to go back to old-school Eng­land with fisticuffs at your lo­cal foot­ball pitch, you know, like proper English stuff!

4 WORK HARD AND REAP THE RE­WARDS

The most im­por­tant thing I’ve learnt about life so far is that it is very un­fair. But life treats peo­ple well if you work hard for it, be­cause ob­vi­ously you can’t choose your be­gin­ning but you can choose your end. For ex­am­ple, you were just walk­ing around in your dad’s ball bags at a stage in your life and you had no con­trol over whether or not your dad was go­ing to be suc­cess­ful or not, do you get what I mean? It was out of your hands. But now you’ve made the best out of that and you’re a big re­porter.

5 BE A POS­I­TIVE FAM­ILY ROLE MODEL

It’s not al­ways easy but you’ve got to look at it like this: ev­ery­one has to look to some­one to take an ex­am­ple from, and it starts from home. The first thing that all hu­man be­ings learn is by fol­low­ing. So if your mum never says “thank you” to your dad when you’re grow­ing up, then you won’t ei­ther. So the po­si­tion you take… and per­son­ally I pre­fer the doggy style for the cre­ation of life, ha­haha, you’ve got to deal with the re­spon­si­bil­i­ties of it, know what I mean? So you can’t be up­set about how your child is act­ing be­cause it’s down to you, and un­der­stand if you haven’t taught your child how to act prop­erly, other peo­ple aren’t go­ing to spend time do­ing it for you.

6 PRI­ORI­TISE THE THINGS THAT MAT­TER

The Gren­fell sit­u­a­tion still hasn’t been sorted out. I think it’s re­ally dis­gust­ing that there’s peo­ple liv­ing in ho­tels with men­tal health is­sues and kids still haven’t got a place to call home. Like be­fore Theresa May had the cheek to say we’re go­ing to war with Syria, couldn’t she have at least got some nice de­cent ac­com­mo­da­tion for her English cit­i­zens? Spend­ing thou­sands on mis­siles that are go­ing to take lives when you still haven’t sorted out lives in Eng­land, you prick!?

7 TREAT PEO­PLE FAIRLY

I don’t think our bank ac­counts should de­ter­mine whether peo­ple should say hello to each other or not. I’m talk­ing about fair­ness and equal­ity be­tween the rich and com­mon man – yeah man, it’s right! Ev­ery­one’s en­ti­tled to a bit of com­mon de­cency, but you can’t solve a hun­dred-year-old prob­lem with a six-month so­lu­tion. Equal­ity will come, but it takes time. It’s all about bridg­ing the gap. I’m quite for­tu­nate be­cause rich moth­er­fuck­ers like me and I’m one of the poor kids, but I’m not ashamed of where I come from. Wealth gives you free­doms but it doesn’t nec­es­sar­ily make you spir­i­tu­ally free men­tally.

8 HEALTH IS WEALTH

Look­ing af­ter your health is im­por­tant, but, truth be told, life is weird and un­pre­dictable. In the last cou­ple of years I’ve known a lot of fit­ness guys – don’t smoke, don’t drink, go to the gym four days a week – who’ve col­lapsed from heart at­tacks and died, RIP. I smoke, I drink, I party, I eat the whole she­bang, and I’m still here. Thank God.

9 DON’T TURN A BLIND EYE TO FUCKERY

Mean­ing, you sit­ting back and watch­ing some­thing you know is to­tally not right hap­pen means you’ve spi­ralled an­other re­ac­tion in the cur­rent events. So, for ev­ery per­son who stood there and watched, the po­lice or bystander or what­ever, who sees some­thing that is not right and didn’t do any­thing, you’ve just made an­other up­set soul who doesn’t have any faith in hu­man­ity and doesn’t be­lieve in right­eous­ness or jus­tice. So how do you think he’s go­ing to deal with the next per­son he ap­proaches? And if you’re in a sit­u­a­tion where you’re a bit ner­vous about get­ting in­volved, have a Snick­ers, yeah? Get some nuts!

10 THOU SHALT NOT BE A C**T

It’s nice to be nice. Pos­i­tiv­ity makes the world go round. Ev­ery ac­tion has a re­ac­tion. So if some­one isn’t be­ing nice and is act­ing like a c**t, you know how I deal with it? “Oi!” Slap! “Stop act­ing like a c**t.” And Com­mand­ment Num­ber 11, , the most im­por­tant rule, man must re­spect the pum pum, yeah? We all come from wom­an­hood, so re­spect the pum pum… You know what pum pum is, my G? Of course. Haha. Come on!

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