10 COMMANDMENTS: BIG NARSTIE
Positivity, punctuality and “pum pum”… the grime star delivers his golden rules for living.
The grime star on the joy of a Snickers and why one shouldn’t be a c**t. Sounds fair.
1 GET INFORMED
The only thing I learnt at school was how to count. My experience of education was crap at the beginning, but I’m starting to flourish a bit now. What I’ve learnt is that life is an education in itself, especially learning how to deal with people. Knowledge is power and the person with the most information wins. You know, a well-educated man can take your whole life and everything you own with just a Parker pen and a nice sentence.
2 DON’T BE LATE
My grandma and mum taught me everything. They weren’t rich people, but they were billionaires in manners and respect. And that’s helped me and put me in places where money could never put me. I swear down, manners and respect will take you places that money can’t because with money everything’s got a time, date and a schedule. Like imagine now if I was late for my interview with you and you’ve only got 25 minutes, you’d think I was a total and utter prick and you wouldn’t like me and the interview would be crap.
3 CHOOSE YOUR WORDS WISELY
Everyone should be accountable for their words because if you talk shit, you’ll get banged. I still kind of live by medieval policies, like the reason why a lot of people didn’t get into arguments in medieval times was because if you talked a lot of shit I might challenge you to a duel, yeah? So everyone was really careful about their words and were actually really nice to each other. But nowadays people aren’t accountable for their words and actions, so you get a lot of loud talkers who take no action. I’m trying to go back to old-school England with fisticuffs at your local football pitch, you know, like proper English stuff!
4 WORK HARD AND REAP THE REWARDS
The most important thing I’ve learnt about life so far is that it is very unfair. But life treats people well if you work hard for it, because obviously you can’t choose your beginning but you can choose your end. For example, you were just walking around in your dad’s ball bags at a stage in your life and you had no control over whether or not your dad was going to be successful or not, do you get what I mean? It was out of your hands. But now you’ve made the best out of that and you’re a big reporter.
5 BE A POSITIVE FAMILY ROLE MODEL
It’s not always easy but you’ve got to look at it like this: everyone has to look to someone to take an example from, and it starts from home. The first thing that all human beings learn is by following. So if your mum never says “thank you” to your dad when you’re growing up, then you won’t either. So the position you take… and personally I prefer the doggy style for the creation of life, hahaha, you’ve got to deal with the responsibilities of it, know what I mean? So you can’t be upset about how your child is acting because it’s down to you, and understand if you haven’t taught your child how to act properly, other people aren’t going to spend time doing it for you.
6 PRIORITISE THE THINGS THAT MATTER
The Grenfell situation still hasn’t been sorted out. I think it’s really disgusting that there’s people living in hotels with mental health issues and kids still haven’t got a place to call home. Like before Theresa May had the cheek to say we’re going to war with Syria, couldn’t she have at least got some nice decent accommodation for her English citizens? Spending thousands on missiles that are going to take lives when you still haven’t sorted out lives in England, you prick!?
7 TREAT PEOPLE FAIRLY
I don’t think our bank accounts should determine whether people should say hello to each other or not. I’m talking about fairness and equality between the rich and common man – yeah man, it’s right! Everyone’s entitled to a bit of common decency, but you can’t solve a hundred-year-old problem with a six-month solution. Equality will come, but it takes time. It’s all about bridging the gap. I’m quite fortunate because rich motherfuckers like me and I’m one of the poor kids, but I’m not ashamed of where I come from. Wealth gives you freedoms but it doesn’t necessarily make you spiritually free mentally.
8 HEALTH IS WEALTH
Looking after your health is important, but, truth be told, life is weird and unpredictable. In the last couple of years I’ve known a lot of fitness guys – don’t smoke, don’t drink, go to the gym four days a week – who’ve collapsed from heart attacks and died, RIP. I smoke, I drink, I party, I eat the whole shebang, and I’m still here. Thank God.
9 DON’T TURN A BLIND EYE TO FUCKERY
Meaning, you sitting back and watching something you know is totally not right happen means you’ve spiralled another reaction in the current events. So, for every person who stood there and watched, the police or bystander or whatever, who sees something that is not right and didn’t do anything, you’ve just made another upset soul who doesn’t have any faith in humanity and doesn’t believe in righteousness or justice. So how do you think he’s going to deal with the next person he approaches? And if you’re in a situation where you’re a bit nervous about getting involved, have a Snickers, yeah? Get some nuts!
10 THOU SHALT NOT BE A C**T
It’s nice to be nice. Positivity makes the world go round. Every action has a reaction. So if someone isn’t being nice and is acting like a c**t, you know how I deal with it? “Oi!” Slap! “Stop acting like a c**t.” And Commandment Number 11, , the most important rule, man must respect the pum pum, yeah? We all come from womanhood, so respect the pum pum… You know what pum pum is, my G? Of course. Haha. Come on!