10 COMMANDMENTS: SLAVES
Embrace the iron… The punk duo share their golden rules for living.
Always commit and embrace the Y-front – the punk duo know whereof they speak.
1 EVERYONE DESERVES A THIRD CHANCE
Laurie Vincent: Anyone can have a bad day, so you should give everyone two chances. Isaac Holman: At least. It’s very easy to judge someone on your first encounter with them. I bet I’ve been a dick to people the first time I’ve met them if I was having a shit day. LV: The kind of industry we’re in, tempers and emotions run high so you should give people two chances and, if you can stretch to it, three. I’ve met some horrible people on first encounter that have actually just been having a bad time.
2 KNOW WHEN TO CALL IT A NIGHT
IH: Don’t go to the after-party. You’ll embarrass yourself and you’ll regret it in the morning. I’m so guilty of chasing the night. When you notice it’s eight in the morning and you’re round someone’s house you don’t know, talking shit about their childhood and making plans to go to the Science Museum. LV: I’ve heard you do that so many times. IH: I actually did try and go to the Science Museum on a comedown once and it was not fun at all. It was horrible. Don’t ever go to the Science Museum on a comedown, that’s also a good rule.
3 KILL WITH KINDNESS
LV: Be nice to everyone. You can really convert someone by not lowering yourself to their grumpiness. IH: Always be nice, you’ll feel a lot better for it. It’s not good for anyone if you just give it back.
4 DON’T FEAR THE Y-FRONT
LV: Try out Y-fronts. So many of you will realise that they’re much more comfortable than you think. I’m not saying that they’re for everyone, but just try them. It’s not a good look picking your pants out of your arse in public and Y-fronts don’t give you a wedgy because they go into the cracks so don’t ride up. I made the move a couple of years ago. We started wearing the H&M David Beckham range. They’re not as attractive when you’re not wearing trousers, admittedly.
5 SATISFY YOUR CRAVINGS
LV: When you’re ordering in a restaurant you should go with your first instinct, then at least you’ve explored that avenue. You should always satisfy the craving because you could walk out of that restaurant and get hit by a bus. IH: Satisfy your needs. And have pudding. There’s always space for pudding. LV: Pudding makes life better. IH: I fucking love pudding so much.
6 CREASED IS NOT THE WORD
IH: When you play a gig, always, always make sure the venue has an iron. I get really funny about that. If they haven’t got one I’ll go and buy one. LV: Just don’t go out with creased trousers or a creased shirt on. No one is going to respect you. IH: I love ironing. I get offstage sometimes and do some ironing, it calms me down. LV: You’ve got to have a high-quality iron. You’re going to buy it twice if you buy a shit one. It’s got to be a big name, like Braun.
7 ADMIT WHEN YOU’RE WRONG
LV: So many arguments stem from people who can’t say they’re wrong even if they know they are. We’re programmed to be stubborn. All of your arguments could evaporate into thin air if you just said you were wrong and take it on the chin. IH: I don’t think we’ve ever had a flat-out row. Maybe one or two. LV: I stopped talking to Isaac once. IH: It lasted for two days. We had a little bicker in ASDA and it got out of hand. LV: I didn’t like the way that Isaac talked to me and went, “That’s it! I’ve put up with a lot of shit over the years and now you’ve pushed me one step too far!” It can be quite cathartic.
8 OPEN ALL BOXES, EXHAUST ALL AVENUES
LV: It’s important that you try lots of things out. For example, you could always not release a piece of music but you might as well write it first. It’s important to be open-minded and try things out. IH: It applies to anything: clothes, people… sauces.
9 DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS
LV: I spent too long looking at other people and wanting to look like them. I spent my teens wearing skinny jeans which look great on tall, skinny people but I’ve got fucking monster legs. IH: We’re quite chunky so we need a wider trouser. Even slim is too tight. Levi’s 511, woah, I can’t even get them on. People might see this rule and think we’re going to be deep but we’re just talking about trousers.
10 FULLY COMMIT
LV: People ask us if we have any advice for young bands and I think that full commitment is the most important thing ever. Don’t say, “We’re going to start a band and we’re going to try it but I can’t do Sunday because I’ve got my nan’s 80th.” If you want to be successful you’ve got to give up everything else. Everything else is less important.