Ian Harrison writes a poem
Ian Harrison writes a poem based on a real-life event
As you know I published my first novel last Autumn, The Jiggery Stick. It was written because every morning after breakfast I would fall asleep in my chair. Natural at 81 I suppose, but a total waste of life so I started to write. I have just finished my second novel, The Jiggery Code and that should be published this month.The publishers objected to my inclusion of the Cockney rhyme, The Bleedin’ Spar- rer. You may know it. Nobody knows who wrote it but the publisher demanded that I prove that it is royalty free. How do you prove a negative? So I wrote my own Cockney poem and that shut them up.
It’s called The Greyhound and the hero of the tale, Tom, is told it when he meets a Cockney barrer boy at Sandown races where he has gone to place his bet on Gay Times in the Solario Stakes. ‘Ere‘tis.
THE GREYHOUND by Ian Harrison.
We‘ad a bleedin ’grey’ ahnd Wot lived in our backyard. Grampa raced it at the track And it tried so very ‘ard. Every month‘e’d scrimp‘n’save To put a tenner on it But that poor dog was oh so fin A bref of air would stop it. Then one night ‘e placed ‘is bet. The dogs set off ‘cept one And ‘e just strolled along be’ind Cos ‘e just couldn’t run. Five dogs went rahnd first bend And then the second one. They all fell over in a heap Tripped up as they run. Grampa’s dog strolled past‘em And won that bleedin’ race Five ‘underd ter bloody one ‘e were You shoulda seen ‘is face. Five fahsend smackers in ‘is ‘and ‘E couldn’t quite believe it. I’ll go to Sahfend for a hol Sahfend’s a posh place innit? The moral of this story Is plain fer all ter see. Never give up supporting A ‘opeless case like me.
This event actually happened when, in the late Eighties, I was sitting in the bookmakers in Falmouth waiting for my horse to run. I glanced up and noticed one of the dogs in the next race was priced at 100/1. I put a pound on it for a laugh. The dogs fell over, my dog strolled in and I picked up £100 and walked across to the pub. Before I could get out of the bookies though the other punters gave me hell for not doing the forecast. I don’t do forecasts. Come to think of it I don’t do dogs either.
Ian Harrison has managed Goldcrest since 1985 and every year a winning one.
He wrote a novel last year, The Jiggery Stick. Available on Amazon.
His new novel, The Jiggery Code is to be published soon and he is now busy writing Jiggery Justice. This will complete the trilogy.