WIN! A per­sonal masseuse on tap!

Real People - - ANIMAL CRACKERS -

Ladies, you know I’m all about shar­ing the love and spread­ing the joy, right? Well, hon­estly, I re­ally think I’ve sur­passed my­self with this mag­nif­i­cent prize.

Girls, you will finally be able to get that di­vorce you’ve been dream­ing about! Thanks to this heated back and seat mas­sager, worth £49.99, you re­ally can free your­self from the shack­les of ’im in­doors’s magic hands and his gen­tle yet firm grip that al­ways hits the spot. Now you have all you need to live your life in care­free com­fort – bar an un­lim­ited sup­ply of your favourite bot­tle of rosé and a box of chocs.

For your chance to both win this amaz­ing prize and damn his in­cred­i­ble deep-prob­ing dig­its to hell, solve my Box­ing Match be­low…

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