THREE IN A BED: ‘It’s a pretty fun sex life’
This trio are tearing up the traditional relationship rule book, and having the time of their lives…
Taking ‘three’s company’ to a more intimate level, Cait Earnest, 28, from New York, shares a one-bed apartment with her two boyfriends and their two adorable pups.
Her partners, Chris and Matt Brandt – who tied the knot in September 2015 – have been together for eight years.
They were exploring an open relationship when Cait, an executive assistant, met Chris, 38, on Tinder in 2014.
‘I’d never been with two people at the same time before,’ she says. ‘It’s different strokes for different folks, but I would say it’s a pretty fun sex life.’
Matt, 28, were actually already engaged when they met Cait, after Chris proposed in Paris.
‘We were on the “love-lock bridge” – he had a lock, and on the back of it, it said, “Will you marry me?”’ reveals Matt. ‘The lock fitted the key. It was emotional.’ Later, when Chris suggested the idea of bringing someone else into their relationship, Matt realised it might be for him.
‘Matt had never had any experience with women before we met,’ says Chris. ‘But I’d dated quite a few girls as well. One day, I said to Matt, “How would you feel about involving a woman in our relationship in some fashion?” After talking about it for a while, he warmed up to it.’ ‘I always knew where I stood with Chris,’ adds Matt. ‘There was no one who could come into our relationship and come between me and him. I couldn’t be insecure about it, because I knew where I stood.’
After Cait and Chris met for drinks one night, they got on so well that they decided to head home to meet Matt, who’d been at work.
‘We weren’t planning for anything to happen straight away, but Cait was so excited to meet me,’ says Matt. ‘I had to open a beer to crack the nerves before she arrived, though. I was so nervous! Thankfully, we bonded over Taylor Swift – we just played some music and hit it off. This was all new to her. It was one of her admirable traits, that she was able to open her mind to me, and I was able to open up to her.’
While Chris and Cait are both bisexual, Matt identifies as homoflexible. He says, ‘I like
guys and I’m open – flexible – to women, although I prefer men. I guess that I had an awakening after I had a sexual experience with a woman. It’s just another body, another soul, another connection that I can have.’
After that first night, the trio decided to see each other again, and it wasn’t long before they were all smitten.
‘When we first got together, I struggled with jealousy a bit,’ admits Cait. ‘I had a very strong connection with Chris and, sometimes, felt frustrated that I’d have to split time with Matt. But a lot of that came from my own insecurity, because I didn’t know where my place was in the relationship.’
But the trio stuck with it, and things only got better.
‘After a couple of months, Cait was staying over five nights a week, so that was when she decided she might as well just move in,’ says Chris.
‘We all just got along really well,’ adds Matt. ‘We all like to have a good time, and we have similar interests – all three of us go to music festivals, we all love travel, and Chris has got us both into sports.’
Despite the unusual nature of their relationship, the trio have always been very open with their friends and family.
‘My parents knew me and Chris were in an open relationship,’ says Matt. ‘And Chris’s parents are the same. They were just happy for us.’
Cait says, ‘When we meet somebody at a bar, I’ll usually say, “Hi, I’m Cait and these are my two boyfriends.” People often ask if I’m joking.’
In September 2015, Matt and Chris decided to tie the knot on a beach in the Caribbean – with Cait by their side.
‘Cait wrote our vows for us, and officiated the wedding,’ explains Matt. ‘We wanted to make her as involved as possible. It felt like all three of us were getting married as she stood next to us. After Chris and I kissed, we turned and kissed her, too. It was an emotional, love-filled day.’
While the trio had a traditional cake and dinner, they finished up with a slightly less traditional rave on a boat – which was perfect for them.
Even though things are plain-sailing these days, the throuple’s relationship throws up some curveballs, particularly when it comes to bedtime. Chris says, ‘Things can get quite complicated. Matt and I used to sleep on opposite sides, and then Cait came along. If I wanted to stay on the same side, Cait would have to be in the middle, and we found that she didn’t like that!’
Now the three of them have been living together for two years, they’ve even discussed the possibility of children.
‘The natural step to take next would be kids,’ says Matt. ‘But it might be a little while longer before we do that. We have two dogs for now… and that’s enough!’
‘It’s different strokes for different folks...’
Cait was a big part of the ceremony
Matt, Cait and Chris
Three’s not a crowd with this trio