Make sure you are there for them
Everyone needs a little support.
There’s no right or wrong way to grieve and there’s no telling how long it may take.
When someone close to you dies, many people suffer and each in a different way. For some, it could take months or years to adjust.
After the initial impact, you may find that you’re up one minute and down the next.
Confusion, anger and guilt are common feelings which may fluctuate over the months, giving way to apathy, sadness and depression as time passes.
Losing someone dear is an experience we all dread.
Bereavement often worries friends and family in the sense that they often feel at a loss of what to do.
The human emotion of grief is as individual as the person grieving. Everyone grieves in their own way.
That said, according to Cruse Bereavement Care Scotland (CBC), there are things we can say or do to help someone who is suffering from a loss.
Many of us feel helpless. Yet CBC states that one of the most helpful things we can do is simply to listen. Giving the bereaved time and space to grieve is also important.
Some people feel they want to talk about the deceased, others do not.
Usually, they give you the lead by remembering the person and voicing recollections.
When it comes to helping a bereaved friend or relative, never underestimate the value of practical help. Saying ‘if you need anything, let me know,’ although invariably well-meant, can appear like a cop out.
To really help, ask the bereaved person if they would like you to come with them to register the death, plan the funeral – or simply do the shopping.
Contact is key. No matter how awkward you may feel in the company of a bereaved person, never avoid them to escape from their reality.
Nature actually numbs people for around six months after a death and, sometimes, the reality of it all only sinks in after this period.
Of course, the funeral is long since past – yet this can be the time when feelings really rise to the surface, so your continued support will be appreciated.