Make sure you are there for them

Rutherglen Reformer - - Coping With Bereavement -

Ev­ery­one needs a lit­tle sup­port.

There’s no right or wrong way to grieve and there’s no telling how long it may take.

When some­one close to you dies, many peo­ple suf­fer and each in a dif­fer­ent way. For some, it could take months or years to ad­just.

Af­ter the ini­tial im­pact, you may find that you’re up one minute and down the next.

Con­fu­sion, anger and guilt are com­mon feel­ings which may fluc­tu­ate over the months, giv­ing way to ap­a­thy, sad­ness and de­pres­sion as time passes.

Los­ing some­one dear is an ex­pe­ri­ence we all dread.

Be­reave­ment of­ten wor­ries friends and fam­ily in the sense that they of­ten feel at a loss of what to do.

The hu­man emo­tion of grief is as in­di­vid­ual as the per­son griev­ing. Ev­ery­one grieves in their own way.

That said, ac­cord­ing to Cruse Be­reave­ment Care Scot­land (CBC), there are things we can say or do to help some­one who is suf­fer­ing from a loss.

Many of us feel help­less. Yet CBC states that one of the most help­ful things we can do is sim­ply to lis­ten. Giv­ing the be­reaved time and space to grieve is also im­por­tant.

Some peo­ple feel they want to talk about the de­ceased, oth­ers do not.

Usu­ally, they give you the lead by remembering the per­son and voic­ing rec­ol­lec­tions.

When it comes to help­ing a be­reaved friend or rel­a­tive, never un­der­es­ti­mate the value of prac­ti­cal help. Say­ing ‘if you need any­thing, let me know,’ although in­vari­ably well-meant, can ap­pear like a cop out.

To re­ally help, ask the be­reaved per­son if they would like you to come with them to register the death, plan the fu­neral – or sim­ply do the shop­ping.

Con­tact is key. No mat­ter how awk­ward you may feel in the com­pany of a be­reaved per­son, never avoid them to es­cape from their re­al­ity.

Na­ture ac­tu­ally numbs peo­ple for around six months af­ter a death and, some­times, the re­al­ity of it all only sinks in af­ter this pe­riod.

Of course, the fu­neral is long since past – yet this can be the time when feel­ings re­ally rise to the sur­face, so your con­tin­ued sup­port will be ap­pre­ci­ated.

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