It’s been one year since I lost Ryan. I’m still numb. It’s not getting any easier
Mum Stacey cannot get over tragic death of son
The mother of tragic Ryan McLean this week admitted she still feels numb one year on from her son’s death.
Little Ryan ( 6), a former pupil at Spittal Primary, lost his battle against a brain tumour on Sunday, October 5, last year.
To mark the first anniversary of his death, his mum Stacey Malloy, as well as family and friends, joined together to release balloons into the night sky over Castlemilk, where he lived.
Dozens of balloons were released by well-wishers, some of whom 28-yearold Stacey admits she does not even know, although their support has come as a great comfort to her.
Looking back on that painful time a year ago, she said: “I don’t think it really hit me until recently. I’ve tried to block it out, just making sure I am always busy.
“To be quite honest with you, I still feel numb. Looking back is just a blank.
“It feels like it happened to someone else.
“I used to go and visit his grave every week but it’s getting harder and harder every time I go. It’s not any easier. If anything it’s getting worse.”
In his short life Ryan went through a 12-month course of chemotherapy and endured four major brain operations as well as over 50 other procedures.
His family were told in 2011 that his condition was terminal but Ryan kept fighting and was able to start at Spittal in 2013, defying doctors’ predictions.
However, his condition deteriorated again and he passed away surrounded by his family at Yorkhill Hospital.
It left Stacey’s other children - Reece (5) and Paige (3), as well as his sister Paton ( 2) by his father, also Ryan - without their big brother.
Stacey had to move from the family’s Drakemire Drive home to a new house in Tormusk as the memories were so painful.
And she admits his death has taken its toll on Reece.
“Paige is alright but Reece is finding it very hard,” she said.
“They were best pals as well as brothers. They had a bed each in the bedroom but always slept in the same one.”
Those paying tribute on Monday night let go a mix of gold balloons, to raise awareness of child cancer, and Peppa Pig balloons after Ryan’s favourite TV show.
The football-daft youngster was also a massive Celtic fan who loved his mobile phone, as well as the TV character Mr Turnbull, whom he met in London through the Make a Wish Foundation.
Stacey laughed: “Ryan was such a character. Everyone in Castlemilk knew who he was.”
Stacey has been overwhelmed with the support she has been offered, even from people she does not know.
“The thought of everyone forgetting him is just unbearable,” she said.
“A lot of people have been visiting his grave and I don’t even know them. It’s always spotless, perfect with nothing out of place.
“My mum and dad bought him a bench so the kids would sit with him and Reece helped my dad put it there. He was so proud of it.”
She added: “I just want to say thank you to everyone in the Castlemilk community and even on Facebook, where there are people always writing on my wall.”
Ryan was a character; everyone knew him
Tribute Friends and family met on Monday to remember Ryan Heartbreak Stacey with brave Ryan