BACK TO THE 70s

Sonja Mixed Flowers Bouquet in green, yellow and orange, Sia Home Fashion (£30, amazon.co.uk) WHAT ARE THEY? A hand-tied bouquet of polyester roses, dahlias and hydrangeas. NICKY SAYS: This manages to combine the ugliest colours in the world.

I feel quite bilious. All that orange. It’s so Seventies, I could have been catapulted back to a world of Vesta curries in the larder and Starsky & Hutch on TV.

It’s a real shame because, individually, the hydrangeas, dahlias and poppies are attractive.

But put this on a royal table and your guests would expect you to be serving up a Seventies-style prawn cocktail and Black Forest gateau.

4/10