DEAR BEL

OUR daughter and partner started having fertility problems a year ago, but are now pregnant through IVF.

She had some mental health issues as a result. Then her brother and his partner unexpectedly became pregnant.

They were thrilled and, despite being asked by us to be considerate, they told everyone through social media.

The infertile couple became very distressed. Although letters of apology were sent, since then there’s been a continuous barrage of distress, anger, bitterness — aimed at us parents for not being able to fix the situation at any stage. Yet we’ve always been a close, loving family.

Now the baby is born and the previously infertile couple are pregnant. But there’s an impasse. My daughter is demanding a huge grovelling apology that recognises the damage to her/their self-esteem.

Her brother and his partner humiliated her and she wants to punish us all. With her level of anger and distress, it would be impossible to be in same room without a huge screaming argument. Her jealousy and sense of loss (despite being pregnant now) are phenomenal.

We have done nothing to deserve this reaction.

The other couple know they made a mistake, but feel they’ve tried to put things right. My daughter thinks nobody understands her distress and hurt. They have ceased contact and plan to tell their child its grandparents are dead. I am concerned this rift is going to be permanent. LOU