Demons that drove Ant to drink and drug addiction
A botched knee op. A struggle to have a family. And now, as Ant McPartlin is forced into £6k a week rehab . . .
He broke down sobbing and begged his wife for help Endless rounds of failed fertility tests
JUST five months ago, Ant McPartlin was beaming on the steps of Buckingham Palace in a morning suit, clutching his OBE. He had been honoured as one half of Britain’s most popular and enduring television duo and his career appeared to have reached an all-time high.
If you’d looked very carefully behind the crisp tailoring, trendy new beard and endless joking with his on-screen partner and best friend Declan Donnelly, however, the tell-tale signs were already there that something was going badly wrong.
His smile looked forced, his eyes were red, he looked like he hadn’t slept for weeks and he’d put on weight. For the first time in his life, he actually looked his age.
But he’d become so good at masking the pain and hiding his demons that even those closest to him, including Donnelly — who has been his best friend since they met on the set of BBC1’s Byker Grove as child actors in 1990 — had no idea of the desperate spiral of alcohol and opioid dependency into which he had been sinking since 2015.
Secretly, after nights at the pub with Donnelly, he’d come home and carry on drinking, while he relied increasingly on the painkillers he’d been prescribed — notably tramadol, an incredibly strong opioid.
The combination of the pills and dangerous binge-drinking sessions tipped him over the edge.
Soon, as well as the tramadol (to which six per cent of patients become addicted, according to an American study published last month), the former child star had become reliant on a toxic cocktail of potentially lethal prescription drugs thought to include oxycodone and fentanyl, both of which are potent, highly addictive opioids.
He suffered from insomnia and crippling anxiety. He was constantly shattered. He was tormented by hallucinations, but still — whether from shame, embarrassment, fear or depression — hid it from those he loved.
Until finally, last Friday night, he broke down in front of his wife, Lisa, desperate, sobbing and begging for help. Dec was promptly summoned — the pair live next door but one to each other in West London and he was there in less than five minutes — and the full extent of McPartlin’s problems finally came to light.
At 5pm on Saturday evening, as the rest of the country basked in a mid-summer heatwave, McPartlin was checking into a £6,000-a-week private rehab facility outside London where he is expected to stay for up to two months.
In a statement to the Sun on Sunday yesterday, McPartlin said: ‘The first step is to admit to yourself you need help.
‘I feel like I have let a lot of people down and for that I’m truly sorry. I want to thank my wife, family and closest friends through this really difficult time. I have spoken out because I think it is important that people ask for help if they are going through a rough time and get the proper treatment to help their recovery.’
His dark descent started in 2015 after what should have been a routine knee operation — thought possibly to have been to mend a tear to his cartilage — went badly wrong: he was left with a fractured right knee cap. It was so serious that he was advised he could sue his surgeon.
As a result, he suffered countless weeks hobbling around in a restrictive knee brace and developed a dangerous habit, increasingly popping pills to try and numb the pain in his leg.
As a friend puts it: ‘Over time, Ant became more and more reliant on the prescription meds despite the horrendous negative sideeffects he was having.’
‘As well as putting on a stone — people thought he’d been bulkingup in the gym when the reality was he couldn’t even play golf, his favourite pastime — he started hallucinating, having the most awful nightmares and horrendous anxiety attacks.
‘But without the drugs, the pain in his leg was simply unbearable: it was a Catch-22 situation,’ adds the friend. ‘Ant ended up having to see his doctor more and more, basically begging for repeat prescriptions. It has been absolutely horrible.’
Ever-increasing doses of tramadol also made him slur his speech, develop headaches and suffer from impaired co-ordination, making even the simplest daily tasks torturous, let alone maintaining an utterly gruelling work load.
But while the knee surgery was doubtless the catalyst for this crisis, it would be simplistic to blame everything on it.
For McPartlin’s demons have been circling for a long time.
Physically, the drugs and alcohol — wine and beer are his weapons of choice — may have masked the worst of his physical problems, they only succeeded in exacerbating his already-fragile mental state.
In addition to suffering from depression, the star’s marriage has been put under severe strain as the couple struggled to conceive.
Both are painfully broody and time is marching cruelly on, but despite fruitless rounds of fertility tests they have been unable to have a child. They were married in 2006 in Taplow, Buckinghamshire, in front of 140 friends and family with Donnelly acting as best man, but have known each other since 1994 and dated for 11 years before getting married.
Friends say their long and very difficult battle to conceive has been another determining factor in McPartlin’s recent troubles.
Last night a close friend said: ‘The fact Ant has managed to keep this quiet for the past two-and-a- half years speaks volumes for the man.
‘He has been in absolute hell — uncontrollable agony on a neardaily basis — and consumed by pain, both physical and mental.
‘But as bad as his knee has been — at one point he was told he might not ever walk again if he didn’t have surgery — the most heart-breaking thing of all has been his and Lisa’s inability to have kids.
‘They have tried everything, had almost every test going, and still not had any joy. Understandably it has put an enormous pressure on their marriage, as it would any couple, and poor Ant has been racked with guilt and an overwhelming sadness.
‘He had a complete breakdown on Friday night, and opened up to Lisa, Dec and two close friends about what was going on. Dec immediately made some calls, and Ant made the courageous decision to get professional help.’
The Newcastle-born Ant, the quieter and more contemplative of the two presenters, has repeatedly spoken about his desire to have children. His publicist has been forced to deny pregnancy rumours on several occasions which, one imagines, can only have added to their turmoil.
Back in 2013 he admitted the couple, who met at a concert in Newcastle City Hall 23 years ago, were ‘trying’ for children.
He said: ‘Lisa and I would love to have kids. We’re trying. It’s tougher than you think when you get a bit older. We’ve wanted children for a while, but we’re both busy.
‘We’re on a break now, the first proper one for 15 years, so Lisa and I are trying for a baby . . . well, we’ve been trying for a little while so fingers crossed.’
Make-up artist Lisa, who works
on shows including Strictly Come Dancing and This Morning, was once in Nineties band Deuce. McPartlin also shot to fame with Dec as PJ & Duncan off the back of their three-year stint in children’s daytime drama, Byker Grove.
In the intervening two decades McPartlin and Donnelly — better known as Ant and Dec — have enjoyed a steady rise and now each boast an estimated personal fortune of £60million, as well as the adjacent £5.5 million London homes.
But there is no question they have worked hard for their money: very hard.
‘Ant and Dec are complete professionals, and will never, ever shirk,’ explains a colleague. ‘They are often the first to arrive on set, and among the last to leave and can do 18, 19-hour days when filming. Ant never complains but it has clearly taken its toll.
‘After his knee surgery, he was told to rest for six months but was back in the studio less than three weeks later.
‘He was visibly sweating, shaking and trying to put a brave face on it but it was obvious something was up. He would be slumped on a sofa in agony between takes, and began having extreme mood swings which none of us had ever seen before. In hindsight, it was clearly all the medication he was on.’
The constant pressure to perform — not to mention their record-breaking 16 wins at the
‘He’d slump on a sofa in agony ’ ‘Ant is in absolute pieces right now’
National Television Awards — has only added to his anxiety and for a long time he has been a poor sleeper.
Three years ago he said: ‘I suffer really badly with insomnia; it takes me hours to get to sleep, I just lie there waiting, constantly thinking’ — an addiction to opioids only magnified this problem.
Drinking also became his crutch, with a friend telling the Sun on Sunday: ‘The boys love a drink together but in recent months, after they went to the pub, Ant would go home and carry on drinking alone. It was at times like these he began abusing substances when he was drunk.
‘Part of it was that it helped numb the physical pain . . . but it was clearly more than that. The drugs and alcohol were playing an increasingly important role in helping Ant function each day.’
For two years, McPartlin struggled on in silence — ashamed, secretive and alone.
Tragically, it was only after corrective reconstructive knee surgery at Chelsea and Westminster Hospital, West London, last Tuesday, and yet another round of strong painkillers, that the presenter became so afraid of suffering another relapse — one which, if taken to the extreme, could prove fatal — that he finally broke down and shared his burden.
Hours before jetting out of the country on holiday — a chance for him to ‘clear his own head while the dust settles’ — Donnelly, 41, tweeted the duo’s 6.6 million followers directly.
He wrote: ‘Thank you for all the kind messages and well wishes for the big fella. He will be touched. Your support is, as ever, much appreciated. DD xx’.
That message was promptly re-Tweeted by Lisa who later shared her own message of support to followers.
‘Completely overwhelmed by all your love & support it means so much,’ the pretty 40-year-old posted. ‘I’m relieved he’s receiving the help he needs, we just need him better.’
Not surprisingly, a wealth of famous faces have been quick to get behind the I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here host.
His Britain’s Got Talent costars Simon Cowell, Amanda Holden, David Walliams and Alesha Dixon all called and texted to offer their support, while James Corden, Cat Deeley and Robbie Williams (who has, of course, battled his own drug and alcohol problems) are among those said to have contacted him privately.
Yesterday fans were quick to get behind their Saturday night TV hero, with thousands taking to social media in praise of his ‘bravery’.
One posted: ‘I genuinely feel heartbroken for Ant; what a brave thing to do. Great respect and love for him’ while another added: ‘Ant McPartlin checking into rehab serves as a reminder that mental health issues have no boundaries. Fame does not give anyone immunity.’
It has been suggested McPartlin will spend two months in rehab — but a close friend last night said his stay would be treated on a ‘week by week basis’.
The source added: ‘He has the next two months off work, and will be using this time to get himself back to full health.
‘Ant is in absolute pieces right now, he really is not in a good way, and just needs to get healthy. He has the love and support of all his friends, family and, of course, Lisa.
‘We can’t wait to get the old happy, bubbly Ant back.’
How brave her husband has been in finally facing up to his demons, but what a crying shame that someone who has entertained so many of us, so well, for such a long time is battling them alone.