Send fatties outside

THe National institute for Health and Care excellence decrees that fat people should be given £435-a-head, taxpayer-funded courses to teach them how to cook healthy food.

Rubbish. Since a quarter of Brits are obese, it would cost the NHS billions. Given that obesity is now a bigger killer than smoking, we should start shaming them, as we did smokers.

Companies should open ‘fat rooms’ where gluttons are sent if they want to stuff their faces with cakes or make them stand outside to eat burgers. it would quickly quell their appetites.