The one lesson I’ve learned from life

Martine McCutcheon

THE 41-year-old found fame as Tiffany Mitchell on EastEnders and went on to star in the film love, Actually. She had a no 1 hit with Perfect Moment in 1999. She lives on the Surrey/Berkshire border with her singer husband Jack McManus and their son Rafferty, three. BE YOURSELF, BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS TAKEN FroM a very young age, I enjoyed playing different characters or drifting off into a fantasy world to escape from my dysfunctional childhood at the hands of a violent and abusive father. That was my safe place, my comfort zone.

The trouble was that I never knew my authentic self. This left me with a lack of confidence that I carried into adulthood.

When I was invited to the Baftas in 2004, I found myself surrounded by some of the most beautiful, talented actresses in the world. and yet the desperation in that room was suffocating.

That’s when I remembered an old saying: ‘Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.’ From that day, very gradually, I started to look for my own version of success.

I’d always felt a little apologetic because of my working-class roots and a bit embarrassed if I ever mixed with posh, well-connected people.

It’s easy to think everyone else has it sussed because, even if they don’t, they act as if they do. But I began to realise it was all smoke and mirrors and that the only thing I lacked was their outward poise.

I met Jack, the love of my life, through friends in december 2006 and everything started falling into place.

Then, three years ago, I gave birth to my little boy rafferty and motherhood helped answer so many questions, as I always suspected it would. Being a mum has given me a road map of life.

Now I have someone who means more to me than myself. There’s no love like it. rafferty has completed the pieces of the jigsaw.

I’ve reordered my priorities and that includes the way in which I want to work. It’s taken 40 years, but I feel I’ve finally arrived at who I am.

MARTinE begins her 21-date UK tour in Redhill on April 6. For details go to iammartine.com