THE FUTURE’S IN CHINA’S HANDS

IT’S especially ironic that the most forward-thinking of modern physicists chose China as his target for blinkered offloading of the id. Shame on the young Einstein if he was already aware that no civilisation on Earth has enjoyed a longer continuous tradition of astronomy and science than the Chinese. Around 1500BC, China’s stargazers inprinted detailed depictions of complex cosmic events on to shells and bones – with one of these fascinating relics being the earliest known record of a solar eclipse. The Chinese are far from done with their 4,000-year quest to unlock the secrets of the universe. In fact, they’re just getting started – having recently spent billions to build the Jehovah’s dinner plate of satellites – Earth’s largest-ever communication structure. It was created with the single objective of discovering signals from alien civilisations. A government splurging so much of its newfound wealth on alien hunting may seem a frivolous waste of cash, especially one with appalling levels of socio-economic hardship, but a newly-revived China views such expenditure as an investment in the future. Above all their myriad Earthly geopolitical ambitions, what China truly desires is “first contact”. Keen to solidify their superpower status in the eyes of the world, they’re too late to put the first man in space (Russia) or on the moon (Kubrick. Kidding, USA) so they have turned their focus on something even more seismic and culturally significant. Of course, the Chinese also want extraterrestrials to view them as Earth’s dominant nation – but whether aliens will recognise lines on maps as a viable way to draw distinctions between this lukewarm rock’s self-destructive, territorial hate machines is another matter. Chinese ambitions don’t end at discovering extraterrestrial civilisations either – there are advanced plans for building an observatory on the dark side of the moon within the next few decades. They also quite fancy trumping the Americans by colonising Mars first too. Make no mistake, putting that first human foot on the red planet is presently the superpowers’ most highly contested prize, one desired beyond all other Earthly concerns. Admirably, China has also raised a salutary two fingers towards the strain of xenophobic isolationism favoured by young Einstein, with plans to link up their alien-hunting satellite with countless other SETI projects across the planet. A vision of one big united skin condition itching Earth’s crust together to explore the great unknown – it’s a beautiful thing. In fact, it’s the kind of progressive “strength in numbers” societal partnership that might one day save us all from being skinned alive by interstellar big game hunters from Zeta Reticuli that China inadvertently alert to our presence.