Best pal’s woes are dragging me down

guidance, and someone who can help her search her own soul and figure out what’s going to make her happier.

She may even need treatment for depression. Often (and I mean no disrespect to you) girlfriends can give opinions that are not helpful, or can wind the other person up and sometimes make things worse.

A therapist might even argue that by listening for hours on end you “enable” her negative behaviour.

So, here goes… this is the really hard Best Friend challenge.

You have to tell her, quite firmly, that you love her and want to support her all you can but that you feel inadequate to help her through something as important as a failing marriage, and that you’d not want to accidentally say the wrong thing or steer her in the wrong direction.

Tell her point blank she shouldn’t ring you night and day – it’s not fair, and it’s bringing you down, meaning you can’t be strong for her.

Offer to help her get counselling and persuade her it really will help. (At least it will relieve you…)

That way, you can lay down a few golden rules. Yes, you want to continue to help her, but not in the middle of the night unless it’s a real emergency. And suggest maybe just one visit a day, or one phone call. Any more than that, and you will go downhill too.

She shouldn’t ring night and day… she is so focused on her own problems, she is leaving you drained

Being your mum’s sole carer must be stressful, and telling you to “eat less and exercise more” isn’t helpful as you’re already tiring yourself out, and also not putting yourself first. Look into respite schemes and benefits you might be entitled to....