KINKY MISSUS ‘DID AN AMBER’ IN OUR BED
READER PIC Confused Lisa thought sh*tting on sheets was a kinky Hollywood sex treat Kate goes bare in the woods
IF you go down to the woods today – you’ll find Kate Marshall with her boobs out!
The 23- year- old, from Chester, was visiting Delamere Forest in Cheshire with her boyfriend Graham when she decided to give a flash while leaning on a sturdy pine.
She said: “Waiting for a quiet moment took ages as the place was rammed with all these ruddy ramblers and snobby middle- class folk!”
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SHOW BUSINESS: Johnny and Amber in happier times
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FOULED: Lisa dirtied the marital bedsheets for hubby Steve
LIKE everyone else, Lisa Kenyon has been gripped by the courtroom battle raging between actor Johnny Depp and his famous ex- wife Amber Heard.
Depp, 57, is suing the Sun newspaper for libel for claiming he’s a wife- beater and his ex is the newspaper’s star witness.
But perhaps 32- year- old Lisa has not been reading the coverage of the trial at London’s High Court all THAT closely.
Because when she heard allegations that Amber, 34, had SHAT in the marital bed during the Hollywood couple’s doomed marriage, she thought it was a kinky showbiz sex trick…
So Lisa promptly recreated it as a “treat” for 35- year- old hubby Steve at their tidy semi near Huddersfield, West Yorks.
Steve shuddered: “I came home and our Lisa had her sexy smalls on said, ‘ Oooh, I’ve got a surprise for you – proper showbiz like’.
“I wondered if she’s had her bumhole bleached or summat, but then she says, ‘ Go upstairs’.
“So I scampered into the bedroom. It stank to high heaven – of shit!
“I said, ‘ Our Lisa, you’ve shat the bed, you dirty mare!’ and she says, ‘ Aye, it’s a trick that Amber Heard did for Johnny Depp. D’you like it?’
“I says, ‘ No, I ruddy do not. Look, it’s ruined them sheets.”
Miss Heard allegedly defecated in their bed in fury after a blazing row on her 30th birthday party in which Mr Depp threw a magnum- sized bottle of champagne at her, the High Court had heard.
Lisa said: “I felt such a ruddy fool when I found out the truth. I had to burn the sheets.”
The Depp libel trial continues this week.
AT COURT: Amber Heard and Depp