HE WAS

ANCIENT Chinese warriors showed off by juggling before battle.

DESPITE its 12- letter length, the word CROSSDRESSER only counts for 15 points in Scrabble.

But add two double letter scores and two triple word scores and it racks up an impressive 153 points.

So 54- year- old Norman Hughes felt pretty certain he’d won the final of the Splint and District Scrabble championship when he added ‘ cross’ and ‘ er’ to the word ‘ dress’ on the board. But his opponent had different ideas…

Because sitting across from Norman was Hubert Mattock, 64, Splint’s resident transvestite and a familiar sight in the sleepy Cumbrian market town.

Hubert immediately took serious offence at what he thought was a deliberate slight on his unconventional lifestyle.

The dress- wearing piano teacher threw the board in the air and went on a wrecking spree in the Splint Community Centre which the parish council reckon will cost upwards of £ 300 to put right.

One upset lady who witnessed the brouhaha but asked not to be named for fear of causing more controversy in the tight- knit community, said: “Splint’s seen the like.”

She added: “Everyone knows Hubert and normally he’s nice as pie. In fact, he’s got a very good eye for colour co- ordination. never

“But I’ve never seen rage like it. He started calling Norman a ‘ bigot’ and a ‘ hater’ and then he started lobbing cups of orange squash at a nature display the Cubs had made.

“It really put the mockers on what had been up to then a very nice day – the first event in the community centre after lockdown.”

Last night

Hubert was drunk beyond reason in the snug of the Bleeding Tup pub and totally unable to give any explanation for his violent and extraordinary behaviour.

And poor Norman denies that ill- will inspired his choice of Scrabble word.

He said: “I was just playing with the letters I had.

“I’m no bigot. The wife’s got cousin in Leeds who’s ‘ one of them’ and we had him over for Boxing Day the year before last.”