Was I bit of a bounder let­ting pal film babe giv­ing me BJ?

WITH

Sunday Sport - - LEGENDS -

Wouldn’t you rather have COCK? And BUM BIS­CUITS?! I TURNED 30 last week and on Fri­day night I threw the best birth­day bash ever. I in­vited loads of pals old and new and work­mates, a lot of them women. About an hour into the party a girl I’d fan­cied ever since I saw her started to eye me across the lounge, invit­ing me to join the crowd danc­ing to my mate’s blar­ing house mu­sic. Un­for­tu­nately I needed a pee, and when I came back the cow had started danc­ing with some other lad while hav­ing a game of ton­sil- ten­nis.

My mates all thought it was hi­lar­i­ous that I’d been blown out.

At about 3am I no­ticed the lad had passed out drunk and the girl wasn’t too pleased.

I was fairly pissed too, but thought this might be my best chance to shag her so I walked over and of­fered her the use of my bed for the night.

My only con­di­tion was that she gave me a blowjob and, to my sur­prise, she agreed.

In my bed­room she stripped, got YUSSSSS!!!! God yes, stick your veiny rolling pin up my moist LOVE BLANCMANGE!

Pleased

down on her hands and knees and started to suck like a Dyson.

This girl was an ex­pert and it was the best nosh I’ve ever had. She cupped my balls in one hand and rubbed the other up and down my shaft.

Then she started giv­ing me the deep- throat, pretty much tak­ing my en­tire length into her mouth.

She was con­cen­trat­ing so much that she didn’t hear my mate Paul come in.

So I’m sit­ting on the end of the bed, with a naked girl blow­ing me while my mate was giv­ing me a thumbs- up in the cor­ner of the room.

Paul sneaked in on tip­toes and I had to bite my tongue to keep from laugh­ing as he got out his mo­bile and started tak­ing pic­tures of her suck­ing me off.

Then he ran out onto the land­ing and passed his phone around, let­ting ev­ery­one who was still awake see what a dirty girl she was.

She was fu­ri­ous the next day, but I de­nied all knowl­edge of it. I feel a bit of a shit now. Was I?

Sam says…

EK, Cambs INVIT­ING you for a dance and then go­ing off with some­one else at your party was a bit cruel, but she didn’t de­serve to be to­tally hu­mil­i­ated like that. Now she will prob­a­bly never speak to you again. MY girl­friend’s daugh­ter is a tasty 19- year- old brunette. She’s al­ways wear­ing skimpy clothes that show off her mas­sive tits and lovely body. I’m 39 and I’ve been flirt­ing with her since last year. A cou­ple of weeks ago I saw her a pub. After a few drinks she started telling me about her sex life and how she likes older men. As I gave her a lift home she sug­gested that I park up at a se­cluded lo­cal beauty spot. As soon as I had turned off the en­gine she had my old man out. She gave me a blowjob be­fore get­ting on the back seat. I took off her thong and went down on her be­fore screw­ing her hard. I shagged her again a few nights later and we f** ked for four hours non- stop. It was great. Now she has sug­gested that we get a place to­gether. I’m tempted. What should I do?

Sam says…

KP, York­shire YOU’VE got a hard time com­ing what­ever you choose. Er… but I don’t want any bum bis­cuits… What is a bum bis­cuit? Bake Off’s got a good for­mat, so, it’ll al­ways sur­vive pre­sen­ter changes and the odd ad­vert break.

But, if you ask me, it’s not a patch on Masterchef! The cur­rent Celebrity edi­tion is great en­ter­tain­ment.

What’s your favourite bak­ing or cook­ery based TV show?

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