DWARF PIERS MOR­GAN FOUND DEAD IN CHURCH OR­GAN

‘Mur­der’ af­ter 3ft 5in perv flashes at choir

Sunday Sport - - FRONT PAGE - By BARNEY SA­MUELS news@ sun­daysport. co. uk

DE­SPITE be­ing only four feet tall, Jerry Harte never com­plained about his diminu­tive stature.

To be fair, he had big­ger prob­lems – he was the spit­ting im­age of TV provo­ca­teur PIERS MOR­GAN.

His mind un­hinged by this like­ness to the ar­gu­men­ta­tive Good Morn­ing Bri­tain host, the 45- year- old be­gan re­leas­ing his frus­tra­tion by ex­pos­ing him­self around his home town of Merthyr Tyd­fil in Mid- Glam­or­gan.

But now Jerry’s ca­reer as a re­luc­tant looka­like and oc­ca­sional flasher is at an end – af­ter he was found DEAD in an or­gan pipe at his lo­cal church.

De­tails of un­mar­ried Jerry’s death are still sketchy. Au­thor­i­ties will merely con­firm that: “The body of a 45- year- old man was found at St An­toine’s Church, Merthyr Tyd­fil.”

Sus­pects

It is still not clear if Jerry com­mit­ted sui­cide or if foul play was in­volved.

Ac­cord­ing to lo­cal peo­ple, there is not short­age of sus­pects if he was in­deed bumped off.

One man, who asked not to be named, told Sun­day Sport: “If you made a list of peo­ple who wanted Jerry Harte out of the way, it would in­clude most of Merthyr.

“He was not a jolly ‘ Santa’s elf’ kind of midget. He was one of those surly ones who seemed per­pet­u­ally an­gry at life.

“When he started flash­ing, he went from a fig­ure of de­ri­sion to a fig­ure of slight menace. He once waved his pri­vates at the choir as they pa­raded to church for St An­toine’s Day.

“The priest stormed over and gave him a clip around the ear.”

It’s be­lieved Jerry was reg­u­larly mocked by lo­cal chil­dren – even though young­sters were warned to stay away from him by their par­ents.

Our source said: “Kids would call af­ter him ‘ He’s a runt, he’s a runt and he looks like that c** t Piers Mor­gan’. It was quite a catchy lit­tle chant, to be hon­est, but it got Jerry’s goat.

“Oc­ca­sion­ally he’d snap and fu­ri­ously scam­per af­ter the kid­dies as fast as his lit­tle legs could carry him. But they were al­ways too quick for him.

“He was an odd­ball and a per­vert but he added to the char­ac­ter of the town. Now we’ve only got Mad Alan who shouts ‘ COAL’ at buses.”

An in­quest into Jerry’s death will open to­mor­row.

SPIT­TING IM­AGE: Jerry hated look­ing like Piers Mor­gan SUI­CIDE? Po­lice sweep the crime scene at St An­toine’s church

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