THE STRAIN HAS AR­RIVED AT PLAT­FORM No2

Hubby holds wife’s hands as she squats over tracks & does a SHIT at busy sta­tion

Sunday Sport - - NEWS - By SI­MON DEAN si­mon@ sun­daysport. co. uk

RO­MAN­TIC: Mau­reen and Alan IN the 1970s we had those “Love Is…” char­ac­ters printed on just about ev­ery­thing.

But they never did “Love Is… hold­ing your wife’s hands while she shits off a rail­way plat­form!”

How­ever, that’s ex­actly the act of devo­tion which Alan Tomkins per­formed for his loose- bow­elled wife Mau­reen at Manch­ester’s busy Pic­cadilly rail­way sta­tion.

Af­ter a night on the piss, plas­terer Alan, 59, and his 58- year- old mis­sus walked to the sta­tion to catch the train back to their na­tive Stock­port.

But as they ap­proached the plat­form, Mau­reen’s in­sides be­gan to grum­ble.

Alan said: “Nei­ther of us had the 30p change that the toi­lets charge at the sta­tion. Mau­reen said to me, ‘ There’s no way I can hold this in un­til we get to Stock­port. I’ve got the tur­tle’s head and ev­ery­thing’.

“Well, 25 years ago I made the vow to sup­port her for bet­ter or for worse so I told her, ‘ Take your kecks off and I’ll hold your hands while you lean back and shit on the track’.

“Her eyes filled up and she said, ‘ Would you re­ally do that for me?’”

Anus

So, safely held by her hubby, Mau­reen squat­ted and po­si­tioned her anus over the tracks be­fore she opened the bomb bays. RAIL­WAY: A busy sta­tion like the one Mau­reen shat in

Alan added: “Mau­reen’s quite a weight and my arms were aching but that sigh of re­lief that she let out made it all worth­while.

“There was a bit of a smell and some of the other pas­sen­gers looked down their noses at us, but so what?

“My wife wanted a shit and my wife got a shit. Sim­ple as that.”

Mau­reen told Sun­day Sport: “Hold­ing me out over the rail­way tracks while I had a shit was the most ro­man­tic thing our Alan’s ever done for me.”

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