HE TURNED UP
. . . but I let him suck me off though!
WHEN Brian Delaney spotted a gorgeous woman called Paula as he trawled through photos on casual sex hookup app Tinder, he wasted no time in “swiping right”, indicating he was interested.
But the 34- year- old abattoir operative from Bolton had little hopes of a reply.
So you can imagine Colin’s delight when his app indicted that the delectable Paula said she fancied him too.
Arrangements were made for the pair to meet at a bar in Manchester, ahead of a session of mechanical, loveless coupling.
But when ‘ Paula’ turned up, Colin was in for a shock.
Because instead of a the supermodel- quality stunna, Colin was face to face with a permatanned, Oldham- accented transvestite sporting a clumsy blonde wig!
Colin said: “To say I was disappointed would be a massive understatement. I was expecting a gorgeous babe but ended up with a hairy- arsed bloke.
“I should have been suspicious when she – sorry, he – arranged to meet up in a tranny bar.
“He tried to put on this feminine voice but it was no good. It was just a man in a blonde wig talking about Oldham Athletic. “It was surreal.” But the night was not a complete washout.
Colin conceded: “As I waited, I was quite nervous so by the time ‘ Paula’, or whatever his name was, turned up, I was very pissed.
“So to show there were no hard feelings, I let him suck me off in an alley behind the pub.
“He was surprisingly good at it – though the feeling of his stubble rubbing against my ballbag was a bit odd.
“The next morning he sent me a ‘ sexy’ picture and I nearly spewed up. “Never again!” Last night “Paula” was no longer to be found on Tinder.
DISAPPOINTMENT: The ‘ Paula’ who met Brian for sex
HOOKUP: Brian thought Paula was the sexy babe ( above) pictured on Tinder