HE TURNED UP

. . . but I let him suck me off though!

Sunday Sport - - NEWS - By BARNEY SA­MUELS news@ sun­daysport. co. uk

WHEN Brian De­laney spot­ted a gor­geous woman called Paula as he trawled through pho­tos on ca­sual sex hookup app Tin­der, he wasted no time in “swiping right”, in­di­cat­ing he was in­ter­ested.

But the 34- year- old abat­toir op­er­a­tive from Bolton had lit­tle hopes of a re­ply.

So you can imag­ine Colin’s de­light when his app in­dicted that the de­lec­ta­ble Paula said she fan­cied him too.

Ar­range­ments were made for the pair to meet at a bar in Manch­ester, ahead of a ses­sion of me­chan­i­cal, love­less cou­pling.

But when ‘ Paula’ turned up, Colin was in for a shock.

Be­cause in­stead of a the su­per­model- qual­ity stunna, Colin was face to face with a per­matanned, Old­ham- ac­cented trans­ves­tite sport­ing a clumsy blonde wig!

Colin said: “To say I was dis­ap­pointed would be a mas­sive un­der­state­ment. I was ex­pect­ing a gor­geous babe but ended up with a hairy- ar­sed bloke.

“I should have been sus­pi­cious when she – sorry, he – ar­ranged to meet up in a tranny bar.

Fem­i­nine

“He tried to put on this fem­i­nine voice but it was no good. It was just a man in a blonde wig talk­ing about Old­ham Ath­letic. “It was sur­real.” But the night was not a com­plete washout.

Colin con­ceded: “As I waited, I was quite ner­vous so by the time ‘ Paula’, or what­ever his name was, turned up, I was very pissed.

“So to show there were no hard feel­ings, I let him suck me off in an al­ley be­hind the pub.

“He was sur­pris­ingly good at it – though the feel­ing of his stub­ble rub­bing against my ball­bag was a bit odd.

“The next morn­ing he sent me a ‘ sexy’ pic­ture and I nearly spewed up. “Never again!” Last night “Paula” was no longer to be found on Tin­der.

DIS­AP­POINT­MENT: The ‘ Paula’ who met Brian for sex

HOOKUP: Brian thought Paula was the sexy babe ( above) pic­tured on Tin­der

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