Sunday Sport - - NEWS -

LIKE Sun­day Sport, Viz Top Tips are a na­tional in­sti­tu­tion. And in this weekly fea­ture, we bring you some of the very best from over the years… DON’T waste your money on ex­pen­sive Ched­dar cheese. Sim­ply buy cheaper Swiss cheese and fill the holes with but­ter. G. Dent, Boscombe LOOK ‘ hard’ on train jour­neys by sav­ing up all your empty beer cans for a month and then lin­ing them up on the table in front of you. Tug­ger Trot­man,

Wir­ral MAKE the post­man have think you been sick by open­ing door with diced the car­rots, rice pud­ding and parme­san cheese smeared down the front of your shirt. Pa­trick This­tle, Partick This­tle TAKE your dust­bin to the su­per­mar­ket with you so that you can see which items you have re­cently run out of. S El­liot, London TAKE a leak­ing tin of red paint to your local D.I.Y. su­per­store, carry it into the shop and de­mand a re­fund. Then re­turn straight to your car in the crowded car park by sim­ply fol­low­ing the trail of paint. R Hiles, Ed­in­burgh STOP be­ing scared of spi­ders by han­dling spi­ders on a reg­u­lar ba­sis un­til you aren’t scared of spi­ders any­more. Mrs Nan Ch­ester,

Manch­ester AVOID wait­ing for a doc­tor’s ap­point­ment by mak­ing one for 9am ev­ery morn­ing. If you wake up feel­ing well, sim­ply phone up and can­cel it. USE tal­cum pow­der on cakes instead of ic­ing su­gar. It’s a lot cheaper and much kinder to teeth. Miss J Hol­land,

South­fields R Dury, Rud­ding­ton AL­WAYS keep a pound of lard in your pocket so that if you get your head stuck in rail­ings you’ll be able to grease your ears and slide out. Kate Em­blen, Uxbridge LADIES. A toi­let fresh­ener in your hand­bag helps keep it smelling fresh. Jackie P,


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