Drunk Clunes lookalike pissed on my Doc Martens
PISS- TAKE: Student Lulu ( and the real Martin Clunes A HABITUAL drunkard who scratches a living as a Martin Clunes lookalike landed in trouble when he weed on a student's boots! Alan Wickes was in London visiting his mum but after a night on the beer, he got disorientated by the Underground network. And unable to find a loo, Alan, 54, wet his trousers at Tooting Bec station. Art student Lulu Brown, 22, was stood next to him and hot “side spray” from Al's accident splashed all over her £ 125 Dr. Marten boots.
Police were summoned and Alan had his collar felt for drunk and disorderly and criminal damage.
In court last week, he was fined £ 100 and told to pay Lulu £ 150 compo for her boots and socks.
But last night Lulu slammed Alan's “pathetic” punishment.
The staunch Remain-voter and CND member spat: “A £ 100 fine and paltry compensation is hardly punishment for the intense anguish this man has put me through.
“Those boots were an integral part of me. I was violated in the worst possible way imaginable.”
Meanwhile, Alan is back in his native Cornwall, trying to put memories of his disastrous London trip behind him.
He said: “That's the last time I go to fancy London.
“The flat, overpriced beer may taste of piss but it's got a kick to it – especially when you mix it with a couple of brandies.”
Alan says his priority caption in here please BLADDERED: Alan now is building up his Martin Clunes- lookalike business, based in Port Quin – the neighbouring village to Port Isaac, where the ITV series Doc Martin is filmed.
He added: “They said I wasn't a good enough Doc Martin lookalike to ply my trade in Port Isaac but the locals in Port Quin were happy to see me.
“They say I'm a Tesco Value Doc Martin. I think the likeness is OK, after I've had a few pints.”