I’ll put Ri­ci­cles down my chap’s eye un­til Kel­logg’s back down

Sunday Sport - - NEWS - By SI­MON DEAN si­mon@ sun­daysport. co. uk

A MAN who ended up in hos­pi­tal af­ter shov­ing Rice Krispies down his chap’s eye is re­peat­ing his stunt – in protest at Kel­logg’s ax­ing Ri­ci­cles!

Last week the ce­real gi­ant an­nounced the sugar- coated rice puffs would not be sold af­ter Jan­uary 2018, as part of a push to re­duce child­hood obe­sity.

But the well- mean­ing move has not found favour with Kelvin Green, who says Ri­ci­cles are his favourite ce­real.

He ranted: “Af­ter I had that mishap with the Rice Krispies last year, I couldn’t face them any more. That’s when I dis­cov­ered Ri­ci­cles – it was a rev­e­la­tion!

“They are like Rice Krispies but sugar- coated like Frosties. I’ve been eat­ing them ev­ery day. Now Kel­logg’s want to ban them? Just be­cause of a few fat f** king kids?

“Well, here’s the deal. I’ll put a Ri­ci­cle down my Jap’s eye – sorry, chap’s eye – un­til Kel­logg’s change their mind. Last year I got an in­fec­tion of the bel­lend when I did the same with Rice Krispies.

“If Kel­logg’s want me to lose my bel­lend, so be it. My poor, in­fected cock- end will be on their con­science!”

Un­mar­ried Kelvin, 41, of Crewe, Cheshire, told Sun­day Sport he’d had “a few” ciders when he came up with his protest.

An in­sider at Kel­logg’s said: “Twat.”

PROTEST: Kelvin shoves ce­real down his pe­nis

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