TOP TIPS

Sunday Sport - - NEWS -

LIKE Sun­day Sport, Viz Top Tips are a na­tional in­sti­tu­tion.

And in this weekly fea­ture, we bring you some of the very best from over the years… USE only econ­omy packs of toi­let roll in­stead of ex­pen­sive ‘lux­ury’ tis­sue. You’ll find that your fingers the in­vari­ably go through both. But money you save buy­ing cheaper pa­per can then be spent on a bar of soap to clean them with. STAND your cooker on an old tea chest. This pre­vents young chil­dren reach­ing the hot ar­eas, and pro­vides use­ful stor­age space for kitchen clean­ing equip­ment, bleach etc.

Curly Lox, Glas­ton­bury A BUCKET of wa­ter hung in a tree is an ideal nest­ing place for mi­grat­ing sea birds. AMAZE your neigh­bours by tightrope- walk­ing across your clothes line with­out the use of a safety net. Sim­ply thread the clothes line through a short sec­tion of hosepipe, glued to the bot­tom of each shoe. Pro­vid­ing your shoelaces are tied tightly, fall­ing off is im­pos­si­ble. M. Board,

Rom­ney MAKE poly­styrene lifebelts for your plant pots and float them in the bath when you go on hol­i­day. FELLAS. Make your girl­friend’s boobs look big­ger by look­ing at them through a mag­ni­fy­ing glass. G. Knox, Wal­sall DRIV­ERS. Save money by putting much larger wheels on the back of your car. You will al­ways be go­ing down­hill, which saves fuel. SKIN a tomato by sim­ply eat­ing it. The next day, you’re left with just the skin in the toi­let pan. John Tait, Throp­ton TWO spaghetti hoops make an ideal pair of read­ing glasses for gingerbread men. SAVE money on tap shoes by sim­ply push­ing draw­ing pins into the toes and heels of your bare feet. Bruno Parsnip, Bury SAVE on laun­dry bills by get­ting your kids to keep their clothes on next time they have a bath. And make them play with your dirty din­ner dishes in­stead of the usual bath toys. CAT own­ers. Save cash on ex­pen­sive cat car­ri­ers. Tie your pet’s tail to one of its back legs to make a handy car­ry­ing loop. Shelly Gob­lin,

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