TRYTOPUTTHECHILDRENFIRST

The Daily Telegraph - Property - - Movingon -

It is im­por­tant to agree what pro­vi­sions will be made for your chil­dren with your ex alone, with the help of a so­lic­i­tor, or with the help of a me­di­a­tor be­fore you be­gin the di­vorce process.

The fam­ily home is usu­ally the main as­set, and the first con­sid­er­a­tion will be to en­sure your chil­dren have a suit­able home.

If you have chil­dren, when and how you tell them about the de­ci­sion to di­vorce is cru­cial. Par­ents should tell chil­dren to­gether. An­swer their ques­tions as hon­estly as pos­si­ble and re­as­sure them that you are com­mit­ted to them even though you will be liv­ing in dif­fer­ent houses.

Re­as­sure chil­dren that you still love them, that the sep­a­ra­tion is not their fault and that you will be mak­ing new liv­ing ar­range­ments so that their par­ents can still see them on a reg­u­lar ba­sis.

Di­vorce and sep­a­ra­tion in­volves in­tense feel­ings of loss. Los­ing your home, eco­nomic sta­bil­ity and reg­u­lar con­tact with chil­dren as well as your dream of liv­ing hap­pily ever af­ter. Talk­ing to a trusted friend, fam­ily mem­ber or a coun­sel­lor can help with the pow­er­ful emo­tions you’re ex­pe­ri­enc­ing to give you the strength to tackle the prac­ti­cal is­sues such as ne­go­ti­at­ing the sale of the fam­ily home; mov­ing house and sep­a­rat­ing your be­long­ings.

Tips from Denise Knowles of Re­late: www.re­late.org.uk Help your Chil­dren Cope with your Di­vorce, by Paula Hall is avail­able on­line and in all good book­shops.

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